out to hev fun with Bill
once upon a time, an' we did, an' more'n that, we joggled him so he quit
drinkin' fer most a year. He'd had one er two fits o' tremens afore that
time, 'n' had sorter got skeery 'bout seein' things, so our trick worked
fust rate. One o' the smacks hed jist brought in a hogfish that day, an'
it was the worst lookin' critter that ever growed in the sea. It
weighed 'bout fifty poun' 'n' was 'most all mouth 'n' teeth. Bill was up
in the corner o' a fish house sleepin' off a jag when the critter was
h'isted onto the dock, 'n' the moment we spied it we said we'd try it on
Bill. We told everybody ter keep quiet 'n' then we went at it. Fust we
lugged the hogfish over ter Bill's shack, which was out on the end o' a
little pint 'n' sorter shut in 'tween the rocks, 'n' then we got an old
bit o' sail and went ter work. We sot the critter up on stuns, right in
front o' the shack, 'n' made a tail 'bout forty feet long out o' the
sail, an' stuffed it nat'ral like, 'n' then rigged lines running over
the shanty to work the critter's mouth 'n' tail up 'n' down when the
time come. It was 'long in the arternoon when we sot about 'n' we
cac'lated Bill 'd wake up sometime arter dark 'n' come to his shack in
jist the mood ter 'preciate the good thing that we hed waitin' fer him.
Then to sorter liven up matters, we took a handful o' matches, an'
dampenin' 'em, rubbed the ends round the eyes an' mouth o' the critter,
'n' in spots 'long the tail, where we was to hist it a little. It was
clear dark afore we got the trap all sot 'n' baited, 'n' then five on us
took the lines and tried the joke. It worked pretty slick, 'n' ter see
that critter's mouth, more'n a foot long 'n' full o' teeth, 'n' eyes
with rings of phosphorus round 'em, a-workin' up an' down, to say
nothin' 'bout the tail, would a-skeered a sober man into fits arter
dark, let alone one who 'spected snakes. When Bill's welcome home was
all ready, we sot a watch on Bill, who was still asleep, 'n' the rest on
us went home ter supper. Then we got together, 'bout two dozen on us
that knew Bill best, 'n' gittin' sheets ter wrap up in, to sorter
stiffen the hogfish effect, all hands hid round his shanty an' inside
on't. It was purty late 'fore Bill showed up, but he came 'long finally,
kind o' wobblin' some and hummin':--

"'I'm a gallant lass as ever you see,
And the roving sailor winked at me.'

"Bill was allus feelin' that way when half full 'n' now jist