handsomer."--"And does it produce that effect?" "At least
I think so, father."--The confessor on this took his penitent out of the
confessional, and having looked at her attentively in the light, said,
"Well, madam, you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it."

* * * * *

MERCHANT TAILORS.

A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the Merchant Tailors'
motto, "_Concordia parvae res crescunt_" replied, "Yes, that is to
say, nine tailors make a man."

* * * * *

RABELAIS.

A JEU D'ESPRIT.

In France they say
Lived RABELAIS,
A witty wight, and a right merry fellow.
Who in good company was sometimes mellow:
And,
Although he was a priest,
Thought it no sacramental sin--to feast.
I can't say much for his morality:
But for his immortality,
Good luck!
Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards,
And scarcely a good library's shelf
But boasts acquaintance with the elf.
But now I'll tell you what I should have told before,
A grievous illness brought him nigh _Death's_ door.
Who, bony wight,
Enjoyed the sight--
And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be
When the jester had joined his company.

Rab's friends, good folk!
Thought it no joke
To the poor joker; they therefore sent around
For all the Esculapians to be found;
And in a trice
(For doctors always haste to give advice--
Mind--don't mistake--I mean when there's a fee)
They mustered two--to which add three.

Now about the bed
Is seen each learned head.
The patient's pulse is felt--with graver air
Each M.D. seats him in a chair.
Crosses his legs--leans on his stick, mums--hahs--and hums
Pulls out his watch--takes snuff--and twirls his thumbs.
At length,
The awful stillness broke--
As if from silence gathering strength
Most lustily they all did croak,
Their opinions mingling,
In discordant jingling--
"A purge"--"a blister"--"shave his head"
"Senna and salts"--"a clyster"--"have him bled,"
"A pill at noon"--"another pill at night,"
"A warm-bath, sure, would set him right."
Thus with purges and blisters,
Pills, bleeding, and clysters,
The poor patient they threatened
Should be deluged and sweatened.

Unable to endure the riot,
And wishing for a little quiet,
The sickman raised his head,
And said--
Gentlemen, I do bese