with lost tempers, and we sat down to lunch very much out of conceit
with ourselves, our guns, our cartridges, the keepers, the dogs, and
everything else. The pleasant array of plates and glasses, and the
savoury odours of the meats mitigated, but did not dispel the frowns.
Then suddenly there dropped down amongst us, as it were from the
sky, the Great Woodcock Saga. In a moment the events of the morning
were forgotten, brows cleared, tempers were picked up, and an eager
hilarity reigned over the company, while the adventures of the
wonderful bird were pursued from tree to tree, from clump to clump,
through all the zig-zags of his marvellous flight, until he finally
vanished triumphantly into the unknown.

Now the Great Woodcock Saga is brought about in this way:--First
of all suppose that a woodcock has shown himself somewhere or other
during the morning. If he was seen it follows, as the day follows
the night, (1), that _everybody_ shot at him at the most fantastic
distances without regard to the lives and limbs of the rest of the
party; (2), that (in most cases) everybody missed him; (3), that
everybody, though having, according to his own version, been
especially careful himself, has been placed in imminent peril by the
recklessness of the rest; (4), that everybody threw himself flat on
his face to avoid death; and (5), that the woodcock is not really a
bird at all, but a devil. The following is suggested as an example of
Woodcock-dialogue, the scene being laid at lunch:--

[Illustration]

_First Sportsman_ (_pausing in his attack on a plateful of curried
rabbit_). By Jupiter! that was a smartish woodcock. I never saw the
beggar till he all but flew into my face, and then away he went, like
a streak of greased lightning. I let him have both barrels; but I
might as well have shot at a gnat. Still, I fancy I tickled him up
with my left.

_Second Sportsman_ (_a stout, jovial man, breaking in_). Tickled _him_
up! By gum, I thought _I_ was going to be tickled up, I tell you. Shot
was flying all round me--bang! bang! all over the place. I loosed
off twice at him, and then went down, to avoid punishment. Haven't a
notion what became of him.

_Third Sportsman_ (_choking with laughter at the recollection_). I saw
you go down, old cock. First go off, I thought you were hit: but, when
you got that old face of yours up, and began to holler "Wor guns!"
as if you meant to bust, why I jolly soon knew there wasn't much
the