FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   482   483   484   485   486   487   488   489   490   491   492   493   494   495   496   497   498   499   500   501   502   503   504   505   506  
507   508   509   510   511   512   513   514   515   516   517   518   519   520   521   522   523   524   525   >>  
d them now. Perhaps she would not have seen them but for that attempt to hide them which revealed their significance. She said to herself, "He is poor; and yet he has done this." And the love that had been so long hidden, sheltered and protected by her pity, came forth, and knew itself as love. And she forgot his greatness and remembered only those pitiful human things in which he had need of her. So she surrendered. "I will take everything--on one condition. That you will give me--what you said just now I wouldn't have." The eyes that she lifted to his were full of tears. For one moment he did not understand. Very slowly he realized that the thing he had dreamed and despaired of, that he dared not ask for, was being divinely offered to him as a free gift. There was no moment, not even in that night of his madness, in this room nine years ago, nor in that other night in Howland Street, when he had desired it as he desired it now. Her tears hung curved on the curved lashes of her eyes, and spilt themselves, and fell one by one on to the pages of the manuscript. He heard them fall. Before he let himself be carried away by the sweep of her impulse and his own passion he saw that not honour but common decency forbade him to take advantage of a moment's inspired tenderness. He had already made a slight appeal _ad misericordiam_; but that was for her sake not his own. He realized most completely his impossible position. He had no income, and he had damaged his health so seriously that it might be long enough before he could make one; and these facts he could not possibly mention. She suspected him of poverty; but the smallest hint of his real state would have roused her infallible instinct of divination. He had felt, as her eyes rested on his emaciated body, that they could see the course of its sufferings, its starvation. He meant that she should never know what things had happened to him in Howland Street. His chivalry revolted against the brutality of capturing her tender heart by such a lacerating haul on its compassion. All this swept through him between the falling of her ears. Last of all came the thought of what he was giving up. Was it possible that she cared for him? It could not be. The illusion lasted only for an instant. Yet while it lasted the insane longing seized him to take her at her word and risk the consequences. For she would find out afterwards that she had never loved him; and she would d
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   482   483   484   485   486   487   488   489   490   491   492   493   494   495   496   497   498   499   500   501   502   503   504   505   506  
507   508   509   510   511   512   513   514   515   516   517   518   519   520   521   522   523   524   525   >>  



Top keywords:

moment

 

curved

 

things

 
Howland
 

Street

 

desired

 

lasted

 

realized

 

impossible

 
roused

position

 
infallible
 
emaciated
 

rested

 
divination
 

instinct

 

appeal

 

health

 
misericordiam
 
possibly

damaged

 
income
 

smallest

 

completely

 
mention
 

suspected

 

slight

 
poverty
 

lacerating

 

illusion


instant

 

thought

 

giving

 

consequences

 

insane

 

longing

 

seized

 

chivalry

 

revolted

 

brutality


happened

 

sufferings

 
starvation
 

capturing

 

tender

 

falling

 

compassion

 
surrendered
 

condition

 

remembered