s my Sergeant-Major who told me next day that Chaucer and his
gang had taken possession of the Riviera--my Riviera. I went there at
once, to find out what it all meant, but they had a sentry at the foot
of the slope, who said the camp was infected and no one was allowed
there; so I climbed the slopes and looked down from above. Chaucer was
smoking outside my pet hut talking to a couple of his subalterns, and
a string of men was lined up beside the field kitchen for tea. Close
by, the batman, recovered from his illness, was putting a fishing-rod
together, and one of the subalterns blew his nose on a gaudy
handkerchief which I recognised at once.

I went straight back and told the Town Major of Ripilly that one of
the new divisional huts was being occupied by the Sappers. It wasn't
cricket, but it was all I could do.

"That's all right," he said. "Chaucer's acting as divisional R.E. He's
entitled to one hut. He told me he had been arranging for you to erect
it for him."

* * * * *

[Illustration: LIFE'S DIFFICULTIES.

_Mother_. "WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER, DARLING?"

_Small daughter (tearfully)_. "OH, MUMS, I DO SO WANT TO GIVE THIS
WORM TO MY HEN."

_Mother_. "THEN WHY DON'T YOU?"

_Small daughter (with renewed wails)_. " C-COS I'M SO AFRAID THE WORM
WON'T LIKE IT."]

* * * * *

OUR PESSIMISTS.

"Applications are invited from properly qualified persons for
the position of Medical Officer of Health....

The appointment will be from the 1st July, 1919, for the
duration of the War."--_Advt. in Local Paper_.

* * * * *

"Chicks, day old; ready Saturday."--_Advt. in Local Paper_.

It looks like a case of counting before they are hatched.

* * * * *

THE KEY TO FAIRYLAND.

The trees have magic doorways
Down into Fairy-land,
Yet nobody, but only me,
Has time to understand
That if _we_ knew the magic,
If _we_ could work it too,
We could creep down to Fairy-town
And do as fairies do.

The keys are four-leaved clovers;
They're not so hard to get--
Just creep about and search them out,
And don't mind getting wet;
But oh! I wish the fairies
Weren't _quite_ so secrety;
I've tried and tried, but _still_ they hide
The key-holes for each key.

* * * * *

FROM GRAVE TO GAY.

"The B