d, because they are
an earnest of the future character and conduct. Have you then--but this
is too abrupt. Take an hour to reflect and deliberate. Go by yourself;
take yourself to severe task, and make up your mind with a full, entire,
and unfailing resolution; for the moment in which you assume this new
obligation will make you a new being. Perdition or felicity will hang
upon that moment.

This conversation was late in the evening. After I had consented to
postpone this subject, we parted, he telling me that he would leave his
chamber door open, and as soon as my mind was made up I might come to
him.

* The reader must be reminded that the incidents of this
narrative are supposed to have taken place before the
voyages of Bougainville and Cook.--Editor.

Chapter X.

I retired accordingly to my apartment, and spent the prescribed hour in
anxious and irresolute reflections. They were no other than had hitherto
occurred, but they occurred with more force than ever. Some fatal
obstinacy, however, got possession of me, and I persisted in the
resolution of concealing _one thing_. We become fondly attached to
objects and pursuits, frequently for no conceivable reason but the pain
and trouble they cost us. In proportion to the danger in which they
involve us do we cherish them. Our darling potion is the poison that
scorches our vitals.

After some time, I went to Ludloe's apartment. I found him solemn, and
yet benign, at my entrance. After intimating my compliance with the
terms prescribed, which I did, in spite of all my labour for composure,
with accents half faultering, he proceeded to put various questions to
me, relative to my early history.

I knew there was no other mode of accomplishing the end in view, but by
putting all that was related in the form of answers to questions; and
when meditating on the character of Ludloe, I experienced excessive
uneasiness as to the consummate art and penetration which his questions
would manifest. Conscious of a purpose to conceal, my fancy invested
my friend with the robe of a judicial inquisitor, all whose questions
should aim at extracting the truth, and entrapping the liar.

In this respect, however, I was wholly disappointed. All his inquiries
were general and obvious.--They betokened curiosity, but not
suspicion; yet there were moments when I saw, or fancied I saw, some
dissatisfaction betrayed in his features; and when I arrived at that
period of