selves, more wise than
ourselves, more learned, more experienced, more delicate-minded,
more high-minded, let us take pains to win his esteem, to gain his
confidence, and to win him as a friend, for the sake of his worth.

Then in our friendship, as in everything else in the world, we shall
find the great law come true, that he that loseth his life shall
save it. He who does not think of himself and his own interest will
be the very man who will really help himself, and further his own
interest the most. For the friend whom we have chosen for his own
worth, will be the one who will be worth most to us. The friend
whom we have loved and admired for his own sake, will be the one who
will do most to raise our character, to teach us, to refine us, to
help us in time of doubt and trouble. The higher-minded man our
friend is, the higher-minded will he make us. For it is written,
'As iron sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the face of his
friend.'

Nothing can be more foolish, or more lowering to our own character,
than to choose our friends among those who can only flatter us, and
run after us, who look up to us as oracles, and fetch and carry at
our bidding, while they do our souls and characters no good, but
merely feed our self-conceit, and lower us down to their own level.
But it is wise, and ennobling to our own character, to choose our
friends among those who are nearer to God than we are, more
experienced in life, and more strong and settled in character. Wise
it is to have a friend of whom we are at first somewhat afraid;
before whom we dare not say or do a foolish thing, whose just anger
or contempt would be to us a thing terrible. Better it is that
friendship should begin with a little wholesome fear, till time and
mutual experience of each other's characters shall have brought
about the perfect love which casts out fear. Better to say with
David, 'He that telleth lies shall not stay in my sight; I will not
know a wicked person. Yea, let the righteous rather smite me
friendly and reprove me. All my delight is in the saints that are
in the earth, and in such as excel in virtue.'

And let no man fancy that by so doing he lowers himself, and puts
himself in a mean place. There is no man so strong-minded but what
he may find a stronger-minded man than himself to give him counsel;
no man is so noble-hearted but what he may find a nobler-hearted man
than himself to keep him up to what is true and just and