FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   1164   1165   1166   1167   1168   1169   1170   1171   1172   1173   1174   1175   1176   1177   1178   1179   1180   1181   1182   1183   1184   1185   1186   1187   1188  
1189   1190   1191   1192   1193   1194   1195   1196   1197   1198   1199   1200   1201   1202   1203   1204   1205   1206   1207   1208   1209   1210   1211   1212   1213   >>   >|  
ge of the principles of the universe, he lives in a state of ceaseless activity, admitting no limitations, impatient of all restrictions. What he wants, he wants very badly indeed. This wanting things was the corner-stone of my character, and I believe that the science of the future will bear me out when I say that it might have been differently built upon. Certain it is that the system of education in vogue in the 70's and 80's never contemplated the search for natural corner-stones. At all events, when I look back upon the boy I was, I see the beginnings of a real person who fades little by little as manhood arrives and advances, until suddenly I am aware that a stranger has taken his place.... I lived in a city which is now some twelve hours distant from the Atlantic seaboard. A very different city, too, it was in youth, in my grandfather's day and my father's, even in my own boyhood, from what it has since become in this most material of ages. There is a book of my photographs, preserved by my mother, which I have been looking over lately. First is presented a plump child of two, gazing in smiling trustfulness upon a world of sunshine; later on a lean boy in plaided kilts, whose wavy, chestnut-brown hair has been most carefully parted on the side by Norah, his nurse. The face is still childish. Then appears a youth of fourteen or thereabout in long trousers and the queerest of short jackets, standing beside a marble table against a classic background; he is smiling still in undiminished hope and trust, despite increasing vexations and crossings, meaningless lessons which had to be learned, disciplines to rack an aspiring soul, and long, uncomfortable hours in the stiff pew of the First Presbyterian Church. Associated with this torture is a peculiar Sunday smell and the faint rustling of silk dresses. I can see the stern black figure of Dr. Pound, who made interminable statements to the Lord. "Oh, Lord," I can hear him say, "thou knowest..." These pictures, though yellowed and faded, suggest vividly the being I once was, the feelings that possessed and animated me, love for my playmates, vague impulses struggling for expression in a world forever thwarting them. I recall, too, innocent dreams of a future unidentified, dreams from which I emerged vibrating with an energy that was lost for lack of a definite objective: yet it was constantly being renewed. I often wonder what I might have become if it could ha
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   1164   1165   1166   1167   1168   1169   1170   1171   1172   1173   1174   1175   1176   1177   1178   1179   1180   1181   1182   1183   1184   1185   1186   1187   1188  
1189   1190   1191   1192   1193   1194   1195   1196   1197   1198   1199   1200   1201   1202   1203   1204   1205   1206   1207   1208   1209   1210   1211   1212   1213   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

smiling

 

corner

 

future

 

dreams

 

renewed

 

learned

 
meaningless
 

vexations

 
crossings
 
disciplines

lessons

 
uncomfortable
 
Presbyterian
 

aspiring

 
constantly
 

objective

 
definite
 

increasing

 
trousers
 

queerest


jackets

 
thereabout
 

childish

 

appears

 

fourteen

 

standing

 

background

 

undiminished

 

classic

 

marble


Church

 

forever

 

impulses

 
knowest
 
recall
 

thwarting

 

pictures

 

struggling

 

animated

 

feelings


vividly

 

suggest

 
yellowed
 

expression

 
statements
 
interminable
 

Sunday

 
playmates
 
vibrating
 

peculiar