ally miss her, or need
her. No, it was just a stupid, crushing piece of ill-luck, which
happened one did not know why. The ready rebel in Laura sprang into
being again; and she fought hard against the lesson that there are
events in life--bitter, grim, and grotesque events--beneath which one
can only bow one's head.--A further effect of the approaching
separation was to bring home to her a sense of the fleetingness of
things; she began to grasp that, everywhere and always, even while you
revelled in them, things were perpetually rushing to a close; and the
fact of them being things you loved, or enjoyed, was powerless to
diminish the speed at which they escaped you.

Of course, though, these were sensations rather than thoughts; and they
did not hinder Laura from going on her knees to Evelyn, to implore her
to remain. Day after day Evelyn kindly and patiently explained why this
could not be; and if she sometimes drew a sigh at the child's
persistence, it was too faint to be audible. Now Laura knew that it was
possible to kill animal-pets by surfeiting them; and, towards the end,
a suspicion dawned on her that you might perhaps damage feelings in the
same way. It stood to reason: no matter how fond two people were of
each other, the one who was about to emerge, like a butterfly from its
sheath, could not be asked to regret her release; and, at moments--when
Laura lay sobbing face downwards on her bed, or otherwise vented her
pertinacious and disruly grief--at these moments she thought she
scented a dash of relief in Evelyn, at the prospect of deliverance.

But such delicate hints on the part of the hidden self are rarely able
to gain a hearing; and, as the days dropped off one by one, like
over-ripe fruit, Laura surrendered herself more and more blindly to her
emotions. The consequence was, M. P.'s prediction came true: in the
test-examinations which took place at midwinter, Laura, together with
the few dunces of her class, was ignominiously plucked. And still
staggering under this blow, she had to kiss Evelyn good-bye, and to set
her face for home.

XXIV.

WAS MICH NICHT UMBRINGT, MACHT MICH STARKER.

NIETZSCHE

Mother did not know or understand anything about "tests"; and Laura had
no idea of enlightening her. She held her peace, and throughout the
holidays hugged her disgraceful secret to her, untold. She had never
before failed to pass an examination, having always lightly skimmed the
surface of the