as unnecessary. By
stretchin' out one hand, they could seize the most delicate and
costly fruits of the earth, and, by stretchin' out the other, they
could sleep for days at a time without hearin' a seven-o'clock
whistle or the footsteps of the rent man upon the stairs. So,
regular, the steamers travelled to the United States to seduce
labour. Usually the imported spade-slingers died in two or three
months from eatin' the over-ripe water and breathin' the violent
tropical scenery. Wherefore they made them sign contracts for a year,
when they hired them, and put an armed guard over the poor divils to
keep them from runnin' away.

"'Twas thus I was double-crossed by the tropics through a family
failin' of goin' out of the way to hunt disturbances.

"They gave me a pick, and I took it, meditatin' an insurrection on
the spot; but there was the guards handlin' the Winchesters careless,
and I come to the conclusion that discretion was the best part of
filibusterin'. There was about a hundred of us in the gang startin'
out to work, and the word was given to move. I steps out of the ranks
and goes up to that General De Vega man, who was smokin' a cigar and
gazin' upon the scene with satisfactions and glory. He smiles at me
polite and devilish. 'Plenty work,' says he, 'for big, strong mans in
Guatemala. Yes. T'irty dollars in the month. Good pay. Ah, yes. You
strong, brave man. Bimeby we push those railroad in the capital very
quick. They want you go work now. _Adios_, strong mans.'

"'Monseer,' says I, lingerin', 'will you tell a poor little Irishman
this: When I set foot on your cockroachy steamer, and breathed
liberal and revolutionary sentiments into your sour wine, did you
think I was conspirin' to sling a pick on your contemptuous little
railroad? And when you answered me with patriotic recitations,
humping up the star-spangled cause of liberty, did you have
meditations of reducin' me to the ranks of the stump-grubbin' Dagoes
in the chain-gangs of your vile and grovelin' country?'

"The general man expanded his rotundity and laughed considerable.
Yes, he laughed very long and loud, and I, Clancy, stood and waited.

"'Comical mans!' he shouts, at last. 'So you will kill me from the
laughing. Yes; it is hard to find the brave, strong mans to aid my
country. Revolutions? Did I speak of r-r-revolutions? Not one word.
I say, big, strong mans is need in Guatemala. So. The mistake is of
you. You have looked in those one box