cold sweat broke out on my forehead, for I already loved this woman
too much not to be overwhelmed by the suspicion. And yet, I was bound to
expect such a thing almost any day with Marguerite, and it had happened
to me often enough with my other mistresses, without my taking much
notice of it. What was the meaning of the hold which this woman had
taken upon my life?

Then it occurred to me, since I had the key, to go and see her as usual.
In this way I should soon know the truth, and if I found a man there I
would strike him in the face.

Meanwhile I went to the Champs-Elysees. I waited there four hours. She
did not appear. At night I went into all the theatres where she was
accustomed to go. She was in none of them.

At eleven o'clock I went to the Rue d'Antin. There was no light in
Marguerite's windows. All the same, I rang. The porter asked me where I
was going.

"To Mlle. Gautier's," I said.

"She has not come in."

"I will go up and wait for her."

"There is no one there."

Evidently I could get in, since I had the key, but, fearing foolish
scandal, I went away. Only I did not return home; I could not leave the
street, and I never took my eyes off Marguerite's house. It seemed to
me that there was still something to be found out, or at least that my
suspicions were about to be confirmed.

About midnight a carriage that I knew well stopped before No. 9. The
Comte de G. got down and entered the house, after sending away the
carriage. For a moment I hoped that the same answer would be given to
him as to me, and that I should see him come out; but at four o'clock in
the morning I was still awaiting him.

I have suffered deeply during these last three weeks, but that is
nothing, I think, in comparison with what I suffered that night.

Chapter 14

When I reached home I began to cry like a child. There is no man to whom
a woman has not been unfaithful, once at least, and who will not know
what I suffered.

I said to myself, under the weight of these feverish resolutions which
one always feels as if one had the force to carry out, that I must break
with my amour at once, and I waited impatiently for daylight in order
to set out forthwith to rejoin my father and my sister, of whose love at
least I was certain, and certain that that love would never be betrayed.

However, I did not wish to go away without letting Marguerite know why
I went. Only a man who really cares no more for his mistress leaves her