ts, at length, confounded their friends with their
foes; and by treating both sides as enemies, they succeeded in making
them so.

When I went this evening to present my billet on a respectable
looking house, the door was opened by the lady of it, wearing a most
gingerly aspect. She told me, with an equivocal sort of look, that she
had two spare beds in the house, and that either of them were at my
service; and, by way of illustration, shewed me into a sort of
servant's room, off the kitchen, half full of apples, onions,
potatoes, and various kinds of lumber, with a dirty looking bed in one
corner; and, on my requesting to see the other, she conducted me up to
the garret, into the very counterpart of the one below, though the
room was somewhat differently garnished. I told her, that they were
certainly two capital beds; but, as I was a modest person, and
disliked all extremes, that I should be quite satisfied with any one
on the floor which I had not yet seen. This, however, she told me, was
impossible, as every one of them were required by her own family.
While we were descending the stair, disputing the point, I caught the
handle of the first door that I came to, twisted it open, and seeing
it a neat little room, with nothing but a table and two or three
chairs, I told her that it would suit me perfectly; and, desiring her
to have a good mattress with clean linen, laid in one corner of it, by
nine o'clock; adding a few hints, to satisfy her that I was quite in
earnest, I went to dine with my messmates.

When I returned to the house, about ten o'clock, I was told that I
should find a light in the room and my bed ready. I accordingly
ascended, and found every thing as represented; and, in addition
thereto, I found another bed lying alongside of mine, containing a
huge fat friar, with a bald pate, fast asleep, and blowing the most
tremendous nasal trumpet that I ever heard! As my _friend_ had
evidently been placed there for my annoyance, I did not think it
necessary to use much ceremony in getting rid of him; and, catching
him by the two ears, I raised him up on his legs, while he groaned in
a seeming agonized doubt, whether the pain was inflicted by a man or a
night-mare; and before he had time to get himself broad awake, I had
chucked him and his clothing, bed and bedding, out at the door,
which I locked, and enjoyed a sound sleep the remainder of the night.

They offered me no further molestation; but, in taking my