e on which is
written your name. This incloses a card on which is the name of the lady
whom you are to take in to dinner. After exchanging greetings with your
hostess and removing your gloves, you should endeavor to find your
partner and engage in some preliminary conversation. Should you not have
been presented to her, inform your hostess of this fact, and you will be
at once introduced. Dinner is announced by the butler entering the
drawing room and saying, "Dinner is served." The host leads the way with
the woman guest of honor, and you are assigned your place in the
procession by the hostess, who comes last with the man guest of honor.
Each man offers his right arm to his fair partner. In the dining room,
cards are placed at each cover with the names of the guests inscribed
thereon. Even should there be a retinue of servants, pull back the
chair of your partner and assist her to seat herself. In some
old-fashioned houses grace is said, and it is always the rule when a
clergyman is one of the guests. This blessing is asked after the company
is seated.
During dinner you must devote yourself to the comfort and entertainment
of the woman whom you have taken in. She must be your first care,
although there may be some one on your other side, or opposite, who is
more congenial to you. Talking across the table is very bad form. Let
your conversation be pleasant and general, but avoid politics, religion,
and personal criticisms.
There is no form for refusing wine, if it is against your scruples to
drink it. Do not thus force your personal prejudices on your host by
making any demonstration, such as putting your finger over the glass or
shaking your head at the butler. Let him fill your glasses, but do not
drink the contents. The question of waste is not to be considered; and
if you are a man with firm principles regarding total abstinence, in
your heart you should rejoice that at least a quota of the fluid will do
no harm.
The hostess gives the signal at dessert for the ladies to retire to the
drawing room. Everybody rises, and the ladies leave the table in solemn
procession, the man nearest the door opening it for them. A prettier
custom, and one much in vogue in New York, is the escorting of the
ladies by the men to the drawing room, the host leading the way. When
the drawing-room door is reached the men bow and retire again to the
dining room, where coffee, _liqueurs_, and cigars are served. At the end
of a half ho
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