menced this war
wrong. I'm a Democrat, and always have been one; but I'm not afraid to
say that we've all along been trying our best to make enemies of the
only real friends we have inside of Rebel lines. Now, I don't like the
nigger better than some of my neighbors; but in my opinion, a black
Union man is better than a white Rebel any day. To say nothing of their
fighting, why don't our Generals use them as servants, and why are they
not our teamsters and laborers? Look at our able-bodied men detailed for
servants about Pigeon-hole's Head-quarters."
"Well, Captain," interrupted the Sergeant, "Pigey has a big
establishment, and see if the papers don't make him out a big General
for this daring reconnoissance."
"This daring tomfoolery! If he'd come back to old Rosecrans with his
story about a few pieces of artillery posted on a ridge, Rosy would want
to know why the d----l he didn't find out what was behind them."
"He showed great experience a few weeks ago," continued the Sergeant,
"when the Western fellows let off one of their ground blasts. 'Where did
that shell explode?' inquired Pigey, galloping up with his staff and
orderlies to our Regimental Head-quarters. 'I heard no shell,' says the
Colonel. 'Nor I,' says the Lieut.-Colonel. 'I did hear a ground blast,'
said the Lieut.-Colonel, 'such as the boys in the Regiment below
occasionally make from the rebel cartridges they find.' 'Ground blast!
h--l!' says the General, excitedly, his eyes flashing from under his
crooked cocked hat: 'Don't you think that an officer of my experience
and observation would be able to distinguish the explosion of a shell
from that of a ground blast?' 'No shell exploded, General,' said the
Colonel, 'within the limits of my regiment.' 'The d----l it
didn't--would you have me disbelieve my own ears? Now, I have issued
orders enough about permitting these unexploded shells to lie about, and
I purpose holding the Colonels responsible for all damage. Suppose that
explosion was heard at corps head-quarters, as it doubtless was, and the
inquiry is made from what quarter the rebels threw the shell, what reply
am I, as the commanding General of this division, to make?'
"'Tell them that it was a ground blast,' said a Second Lieutenant,
politely saluting. 'I have just been down and saw the hole it made.'
"'You saw the hole! and just below here! The d----l you did! D--n the
ground blasts!' and the General turned his horse's head and started
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