knowed a hotter night than this," he muttered, as he took off
his cap and wiped his dripping forehead; "and I do call it hard. I
can't sneak off, because as soon as I was out of the way, as sure as I
am alive somebody would be making extra rounds, so as to drop upon a
fellow and ketch him when he ain't there. I can feel it in me to-night
as old Tipsy would know it and drop upon me as soon as I had gone; and
'tain't being a soldier neither," the poor fellow half-whimpered. "I
suppose it's cowardly; but who can help it, hearing them ugly, slimy
things chopping the water and gnashing their teeth at you? I want to
know what such things as them was made for. Talk about Malays and
pisoned krises! Why, I would rather meet hundreds of them. You could
bay'net a few of them, for they are soft, plump sort of chaps; but these
'ere things is as hard as lobsters or crabs, and would turn the point of
a regulation bay'net as if it was made of a bit of iron hoop. I sha'n't
never forget that, Mr Sergeant Tipsy," he continued, addressing the
jungle behind him as he looked in the direction of the cantonments.
"The underneath's the tenderest part, is it? Just you come and try it,
old 'un. Savage old tyrant--that's what you are. Only just wish I was
Sergeant Smithers and you was Private Ripsy. I'd make you Private Tipsy
with sheer fright, that I would, and so I tell you. No, I wouldn't," he
grumbled, as he cooled down a little. "I wouldn't be such a brute, for
the sake of your poor missus. Ugh!" he growled, as he seemed to turn
savage; and he went through the business of shouldering arms, with a
good deal of unnecessary energy, slapping his piece loudly, and then
stamping his feet as he marched up and down the marked-out portion of
the bank, a little inward from the landing-place.

"I don't care," he muttered recklessly. "I can't see you, but I can
hear you, you beauties! Come on if you like. My monkey's up now.
Fire! I just will! It will only be once, though, and then s'elp me,
I'll let whichever of you it is have it with a straight-down dig right
between the shoulders--one as will pin you into the soft earth. I'll do
for one of you at any rate, and then let them come and relieve guard.
Relieve guard, indeed, when there won't be no guard to relieve! And old
Tipsy won't have any more trouble with poor old Joe Smithers. Nay, my
lad, put it down decent, as perhaps it's for the last time. Private
Joseph Smithers, 3874, an