cs. There is
nothing that kindles the zeal of a modern patriot to a whiter heat than
the prospect of an office; there is nothing that cools it off so quickly
as the fading out of that prospect.

I stood on the stump in Tennessee as a candidate for Governor, and thus
I cut my eagle loose: "Fellow Citizens, we live in the grandest country
in the world. It stretches

From Maine's dark pines and crags of snow
To where magnolia breezes blow;

It stretches from the Atlantic Ocean on the east, to the Pacific Ocean
on the west"--and an old fellow jumped up in my crowd and threw his hat
in the air and shouted: "Let 'er stretch, durn 'er--hurrah for the
Dimocrat Party."

An old Dutchman had a beautiful boy of whom he was very proud; and
he decided to find out the bent of his mind. He adopted a very novel
method by which to test him. He slipped into the little fellow's room
one morning and placed on his table a Bible, a bottle of whiskey, and
a silver dollar. "Now," said he, "Ven dot boy comes in, ef he dakes dot
dollar, he's goin' to be a beeznis man; ef he dakes dot Bible he'll
be a breacher; ef he dakes dot vwiskey, he's no goot--he's goin' to
be a druenkart." and he hid behind the door to see which his son would
choose. In came the boy whistling. He ran up to the table and picked up
the dollar and put it in his pocket; he picked up the Bible and put it
under his arm; then he snatched up the bottle of whiskey and took two or
three drinks, and went out smacking his lips. The old Dutchman poked his
head out from behind the door and exclaimed: "Mine Got--he's goin' to be
a bolitician."

There is no music like the music of political discussion. I have heard
almost a thousand political discussions. I heard the great debate
between Blaine and Ben Hill; I heard the angry coloquies between Roscoe
Conkling and Lamar; I have heard them on down to the humblest in the
land. But I prefer to give you a scrap of one which occurred in my own
native mountains. It was a race for the Legislature in a mountain county,
between a straight Democrat and a straight Republican. The mountaineers
had gathered at the county site to witness the great debate. The
Republican spoke first. He was about six feet two in his socks, as slim
as a bean pole, with a head about the size of an ordinary tin cup and
very bald, and he lisped. Webster in all his glory in the United States
Senate never appeared half so great or half so wise. Thus he opened the
d