being but a swimming against the stream, nay, the
turning the course of Nature, the bare attempting whereof is as
extravagant as the effecting of it is impossible: for as it is a
trite proverb, that an ape will be an ape, though clad in purple,
so a woman will be a woman, that is, a fool, whatever disguise she
takes up. And yet there is no reason women should take it amiss to
be thus charged, for if they do but rightly consider, they will
find to Folly they are beholden for those endowments wherein they
so far surpass and excel Man; as first for their unparalleled
beauty, by the charm whereof they tyrannize over the greatest of
tyrants; for what is it but too great a smatch of wisdom that makes
men so tawny and thick-skinned, so rough and prickly-bearded, like
an emblem of winter or old age, while women have such dainty,
smooth cheeks, such a low, gentle voice, and so pure a complexion,
as if Nature had drawn them for a standing pattern of all symmetry
and comeliness? Besides, what greater or juster aim and ambition
have they than to please their husbands? In order whereunto they
garnish themselves with paint, washes, curls, perfumes, and all
other mysteries of ornament; yet, after all, they become acceptable
to them only for their Folly. Wives are always allowed their humor,
yet it is only in exchange for titillation and pleasure, which
indeed are but other names for Folly; as none can deny, who
consider how a man must dandle, and kittle, and play a hundred
little tricks for his helpmate.

But now some blood-chilled old men, that are more for wine than
wenching, will pretend that in their opinion the greatest happiness
consists in feasting and drinking. Grant it be so; yet certainly in
the most luxurious entertainments it is Folly must give the sauce
and relish to the daintiest delicacies; so that if there be no one
of the guests naturally fool enough to be played upon by the rest,
they must procure some comical buffoon, that by his jokes and
flouts and blunders shall make the whole company split themselves
with laughing; for to what purpose were it to be stuffed and
crammed with so many dainty bits, savory dishes, and toothsome
rarities, if after all this epicurism, the eyes, the ears, and the
whole mind of man, were not so well foisted and reliev