piece. How about those fuzes?"

"To what do you refer, may I ask?" said Mr. Faulks very blandly; but
his blood was boiling at the indignity of being lectured thus by a
young man altogether new to the office.

"It is all in this morning's _Times_. The siege is at a standstill;
the fuzes won't fit the shells. There are plenty of 10-inch fuzes, but
only 13-inch shells. Who is to blame for that?"

"Our ordnance branch, I fear. But it shall be seen to: I will address
a communication to the head, calling his attention to the error."

"And when will he get the letter?"

"In the course of the next two or three days."

"And his reply will take about the same time to reach you, I suppose?"

"Probably: more or less."

"Where is the office of the ordnance branch? In this house?"

"Oh, no!" replied Mr. Faulks, in a voice full of profound pity for the
lamentable ignorance of his chief. "It is at No. 14."

"Just round the corner--in fact, half-a-dozen yards off?"

"Yes, about that."

"Well, look here, Mr. Faulks: you just put on your hat and go round
the corner and see the head of the ordnance branch, and settle all
this with him in the next five minutes, d'ye hear?"

"What, I? personally? That would be altogether against precedent and
contrary to the rules of the office. I really must decline to
introduce such a radical change."

"You will obey my order, this very instant! It is utterly preposterous
to waste six days sending letters backwards and forwards about a
paltry matter that can be settled by word of mouth in as many minutes.
No wonder the troops have died like rotten sheep!"

"I have been five-and-thirty years in this office--" began Mr.
Faulks.

"Oh! don't bother me with your historical reminiscences," said Sir
Humphrey, cutting him short.

"And never, during all that period--" went on Mr. Faulks, manfully.

"--Have you done anything to-day that could be put off till
to-morrow? But now go and see about this at once--do you
understand?--and then come back to me; I have other matters to
arrange. We have news that a fresh expedition will shortly start for
Kertch, and we are requested to send out with all dispatch
considerable supplies of salt rations."

"It will be necessary to refer to the Admiralty: they will require
proper notice."

"You will get the rations within twenty-four hours, notice or no
notice. But we will discuss that by-and-by. Meanwhile, hurry off to
the ordnance branch."

Mr. Faulk