ng" or "running dead," etc.

The first item on the day's programme was the "gargling parade."
Meningitis had broken out in the camp and every one had to gargle his
throat first thing in the morning with salt water. We would be marched
under our sergeant to each receive our half-pannikin of salt water at
the A. M. C. tent. We would string out along the brick drain and then
began the most horrible conglomeration of sounds that ever offended the
ear. It was like the tuning up of some infernal orchestra. I don't
know why it is, but it is surprising how few men can gargle "like a
gentleman." For days I have not spoken to my best friend, who was most
refined in other respects, but could not desist from spluttering and
spraying the half dozen men nearest to him. We became friends again,
but although we slept and messed together, I always took care never to
be nearer than number ten from him at "gargling parade." I never heard
any complaints from the people at Bendigo about this early-morning
discord, but I learn that no frogs have been heard in the neighborhood
since.

Our training at this camp was purely preliminary--we certainly formed
fours seven billion times, and turned to the right fourteen billion,
and saluted a post that represented an officer so often, that the rush
of air caused by the quick movement of hands and heads had worn the
edge off it.

We were so used to the sound of the sergeant-major's voice when he
said, "The company will move to right in fours," that, when a grazing
donkey happened to "hee-haw," the whole company formed fours. Even
then only about half the company discovered the mistake--there was
mighty little difference in the tones, anyway!

For a man that has never previously had military training, the first
few weeks in camp is the most humiliating and trying experience that
could be inflicted on him. I am quite sure that were it a prison and a
treadmill he could not hate it the more.

Here was I, never been under orders since I was breeched, and even
before then getting my own way, suddenly finding myself with every
movement I was to make laid down in regulations, with about a score of
men round me all day to see that I carried them out correctly.

How I used to hate that camp band, when it played at reveille, I cursed
it in full BLAST because it would wake me suddenly when I seemed to
have only just lain down, and reviled it when it played softly because
I would not hear it and so