ay the truth, I should have been
strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his grandees
did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself, when the
queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which
both our persons appeared before me in full view together; and there
could nothing be more ridiculous than the comparison; so that I really
began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual size.

Nothing angered and mortified me so much, as the queen's dwarf, who
being of the lowest stature that ever in that country (for I verily
think he was not full thirty feet high) became so insolent at seeing a
creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger,
and look big, as he passed by me in the queen's ante-chamber, while I
was standing on some table, talking with the lords or ladies of the
court, and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness;
against which I could only revenge myself, by calling him brother,
challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usual in the
mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was
so nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon
the frame of her majesty's chair, he took me up, as I was sitting down,
not thinking any harm; and let me drop into a large silver bowl of
cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears,
and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with
me; for Glumdalclitch, in that instant, happened to be at the other
end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright, that she wanted
presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and
took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to
bed; however, I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of
clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and,
as a farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which
he had thrown me; neither was he ever restored to favor; for, soon
after, the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw
him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for I could not tell to what
extremity such a malicious urchin might have carried his resentment.

[Illustration: "I COULD ONLY REVENGE MYSELF BY CALLING HIM BROTHER."
P. 42.]

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,
although, at the same time she