ngside of a bog;

He'd chop up 'is doors and winders for a fire to 'ot his lush,
Don't care a 'ang for decency, and never raised a blush.
But, arter my hexperience--and I've 'ad some down our court--
I believe that--fair at bottom--it's the Slum as makes _his_ sort.

Anyways I'm pooty certain, if we'd got more light and space,
And were not jammed up together in a filthy, ill-drained place;
If the sunlight could but see us, and the public _and_ the cops,
There would be less booze and bashing, fewer drabs and
drinking-shops.

Aye, and fewer NOCKY SPRIGGINGSES! I don't go for to say
As it's _all_ along o' Landlords, who'd rent 'ell, if 'twould but
pay;
But I've noticed you find fewest mice where there are lots of cats,
And where there ain't no rat-holes, well--yer won't spot many rats!

* * * * *

THE LAST DISCOVERY.

(_A SEQUEL TO A RECENT LECTURE. BY MR. PUNCH'S PROPHETIC REPORTER._)

The enormous crowd cheered again and again. It was furious. The
enthusiasm spread from throng to throng, until a mighty chorus
filled every portion of the land. And there was indeed reason for the
rejoicing. Had not the great Arctic Explorer come home? Had he not
been to the North Pole and back? At that very moment were not a couple
of steam-tugs drawing his wooden vessel towards his native shore?
It was indeed a moment for congratulation--not only personal but
national, nay cosmopolitan. The victory of art over nature belonged to
more than a country, it belonged to the world!

And the tugs came closer and closer, and the cheers grew louder and
louder. Then the vessel bearing the Explorer was near at hand.
The crowd joyously jumped into the water, and raising him on their
shoulders, bore him triumphantly to land.

How they welcomed him! How they seized his hands and kissed them! How
they cried and called him "Master," and "Victor," and "Hero!" It was a
scene never to be forgotten!

When the excitement had somewhat subsided, they began to ask him
questions. At last one of them wished to know how he contrived to find
the North Pole and get back in safety?

"You intended to drift?" said they. "Great and glorious hero,
victorious victor, triumphant explorer, did you do this?"

"I did," was the reply.

"And tell us what was your method of obtaining the knowledge you now
possess? Oh, great chief, how _did_ you manage it?"

Then came the answer--

"By s