dentified, was observed stealing cautiously from the Tube station with a
thick wad of Treasury notes in one hand and _a copy of "The Times" in the
other!_ The sight of this latter seems to have sent several passers-by
completely mad. The wretched stranger was instantly set upon, his journal
torn from his hand and his limbs very severely mauled. The Treasury notes,
unremarked in the fearful _melee_, fell into the mud and were devoured by a
passing Pekinese. Those now in possession of the priceless document were in
turn set upon by others, until all Piccadilly Circus became a battlefield.
The deplorable behaviour of motor-bus and taxicab drivers added greatly to
the carnage, for these men, rendered frantic by the thought of the loot
within their reach, repeatedly drove their vehicles into the seething mass
of humanity in their efforts to acquire this unthinkable treasure. No
official estimate of the casualties is yet to hand.

_Stop Press_.--Reason to believe unknown archdeacon got away West with part
of sheet of "Finance and Commerce." Police, specials, military and
fire-brigade now in pursuit.

_From the Press generally_.

AMAZING GIFT TO CHARITY.

At Gristie's to-day there will be put up for auction an unread and unsoiled
copy of yesterday's _Times_. The donor of this superb gift desires to
remain anonymous, but his incredible generosity is expected to benefit
charity to the extent of several thousand pounds.

_From_ "_The New Britain_."

SOMETHING LIKE PATRIOTISM.

A sterling example of patriotism has just come to the notice of the Rag and
Bones Controller. A copy of _The Times_ (including the Uruguay Supplement
of 94 pages), issued four months ago, was purchased, under permit of the R.
and B. Controller, by Baron Goldenschein, who read it from the top of col.
1, page 1, to the foot of col. 6, page 108. The entire household then read
from col. 1, page 1, to col. 6, page 108. Baron Goldenschein tells us that
his cook with difficulty could be persuaded to tear herself away from the
Uruguay Supplement. All the tenants on the estate--some eighty souls--then
enjoyed the paper, each tenant in turn posting it to relatives in various
parts of the United Kingdom. At the end of three months it is estimated
that over one thousand persons had read this copy of _The Times_. The Baron
also informs us that each post brings him a fragment of the paper from
remote parts of the country. When sufficient fragments have been collect