ver; Rye getting anxious. Could I give him a few hints? With
great pleasure; full of the subject. Begin at the beginning. Ideas;
memoranda; methods: (a) The arrangement of speech, (b) the management
of the voice, (c) attitude or gesture. On this last I am very
particular. "Holding up one finger," I say, "is a favourite way of
bespeaking special attention to some 'point' which you are trying to
make; and waving the right hand, with outstretched arm, the forefinger
leading, is an easy and not ungraceful method of illustrating the
narrative portion of your speech. For the more vehement passages,
a sudden flourish of the hand upwards, over your head, generally
accompanies some aggressive, triumphant assertion, such as, 'I care
not _who_ he may be!' And a similar movement downwards, with both
hands, would indicate some indignant complaint, such as, 'And _never_,
from that day to this, have they fulfilled their promise.'"

"Excellent!" cried LEVESON-GOWER, who, as I spoke, involuntarily waved
the right hand, the forefinger leading.

"Yes." said BROOKFIELD, looking a little more uneasy than before;
"very clear, and to the point; but fancy--er--I've heard it before."

"Of course you have," I said. "It's in your book; see page 123. Mind
you let me know when your speech in the House is coming off, After
reading _The Speaker's A B C_, I wouldn't miss it for anything."
_Business done._--Dissolution postponed.

* * * * *

HORACE IN LONDON.

TO A MINERAL WATER. (_AD FONTEM BANDUSIUM._)

[Illustration]

O well of Malvern, immaculate fountain;
Worthy to blend with the Dew of the Mountain,
To-morrow, thy rill, gushing brightly,
SCHWEPPE shall aerate slightly;

SCHWEPPE (pronounced with an accent as spelt, Sir.)
SCHWEPPE, purveyor of soda and seltzer,
And potass (for gout in one's joint meant.)
Unto the QUEEN, "by appointment."

Thee not the furnace of Sirius raging
Touches; thy natural cool is assuaging,
Unmixed, to the temperate classes,
Mixed, for the thirst of wild asses.

Malvern, with me for thy rhapsodist, what'll
Rival the sparkle of bard and of bottle--
The bottle in cups effervescent,
In couplets the bard, as at present.

* * * * *

"LIKE NIOBE" (_suggested advertisement for the Strand Theatre_).
Instead of boards up on which is inscribed, "_House Full_," "_No
Standing Room_," and so forth,