been sent to a sort of a home, is no better,
And quenches his thirst, when he can, with the ink.
And the Dowager Duchess of M. (the old sinner!)
Has dropped all the money she had backing gees;
While the Colonel, who's said to have spotted the winner,
Owns most of the horses that _lost_, if you please!

But dear MAUD is the one for the news that's exciting.
You've wasted your paper in sending to _me_.
I would just as soon think, love, of flying as writing
_One word_ of the scandal of afternoon tea.
Give my love to your mother, and kisses to DORA--
(She's doing the season with you, I presume?)
And believe me your ever affectionate, FLORA.

P.S. Mrs. K. has eloped with her groom!

_Scandal Hall, Torking_.

* * * * *

ONLY FANCY!

We find the following paragraph in a contemporary:--

A meeting on the Somersetshire floods has been summoned by the
Earl of CORK, Lord-Lieutenant of the County, for to-morrow, at
Bridgewater.

We are bound to observe that this arrangement displays a lamentable
lack of consideration for others on the part of the noble convener.
It is all very well for the Earl of CORK to select the Somersetshire
floods for a place of meeting. But whilst CORK is bobbing up and down,
buoyantly enjoying himself, what is to become of ordinary persons
foregathered in such circumstances? We presume that boats, or at
least life-belts, will be provided for the movers and seconders of the
various resolutions. Or does Bridgewater cover everything?

* * * * *

Walking down St. James' Street the other day, whom should we meet but
the Earl of PORTSMOUTH, long known in the House of Commons as Lord
LYMINGTON. Opportunity was taken to inquire whether a recent event in
South Molton had led to any estrangement between his Lordship and his
former constituents.

"No, TOBY," said the belted Earl; "I think I may say, that, between
me and my old constituents, the wing of friendship has not Molton a
feather."

* * * * *

In the foregoing paragraph, the phrase "belted Earl," is used
advisedly. At the period of which Sir WALTER SCOTT wrote (_vide_
any of his novels) it will be found that members of this rank of the
Peerage are all spoken of as belted. For some time the fashion fell
out of use. The belt was appropriately revived by the late Earl of
BEACONSFIELD, and is now quit