(Middlesex.)]

[Illustration: Read and A-bel. (Surrey.)]

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[Illustration: OUR DEFENCES.

_Mr. Punch._ "HOORAY! NOT SO VERY BAD, AFTER ALL!" _Portsmouth,
Saturday, July 23, 1887._]

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DIFFICULT NAVIGATION;

OR, THE PROUD SKIPPER AND THE PATIENT PILOT.

_A (more or less) Nautical Ballad._

I.--AT SEA.

THE Government Yacht (with a rather mixed crew)
_Sing hey, sing ho, and a capful of wind!_
Sets sail to crack on with a will till all's blue.
_Ho! the breeze blows brisk o'er the billow!_
The Skipper is stout, if his _looks_ are a clue
(But you mustn't trust them, you may err if you do),
And the smart second officer carries the blue
Like an amateur yachtsman at Margate. Woohoo!
The sea is as soft as a pillow.

The Government Yacht it sets sail in full state,
_Sing hey, sing ho and a well-caulked deck!_
And what do you think of that canny first mate?
_Ho! the sky is as bright as a beryl._
That canny first Mate is a smart Volunteer,
And to look at his jib and to list to his cheer,
You would think as a hero he hadn't a peer,
Superior wholly to flurry or fear
In the tryingest moment of peril.

With a Skipper so stout and a Mate so astute,
_Sing hey, sing ho, and an even keel!_
The course of that yacht can't be hard to compute,
_Ho! the sky shines fair in the offing!_
SALISBURY dauntless, and SMITH debonair,
And GOSCHEN a Nautical Ajax who'll dare
All the lightnings on hand--at least so he'll declare!--
How finely with such a fine crew they should fare,
In spite of the land-lubbers scoffing.

Hooray!--Humph! By Jove that's a suddenish squall,
_Sing hey, sing ho, and a spinnaker boom!_
The Skipper, he doesn't look steady at all,
_Ho! there's something amiss with the compass!_
Whilst SMITH, the first Luff, looks a little less smart,
And GOSCHEN--by Jove, can _he_ be losing heart?
He swears there's some blessed mistake in the Chart,
Is his not the cool imperturbable part?
Then why should _he_ kick up a rumpus?

It's hard navigation midst quicksands and rocks;
_Sing hey, sing ho, and a chopping sea!_
The hull has been strained by some smart little shocks,
_Ho! the sky looks black in the offing!_
Is this the plain-sailing you promised, my Lord?
Why the rival Skipper will swea