he truth right
out--that, before she caught on, the procession arrived. The catechumen
was seated upon an empty beer-barrel, placed upon a sort of float
dragged by the boys. They had with them a big drum, that terrible
bassoon of Uncle Jake's, and a cornet; the noise was something
terrific. Well, Miss Birdie's a good plucked one! She stood on the
steps and rebuked them. That voice of hers silenced the band. Before
she was through talking you might have heard a pin drop. She rated
them for a quarter of an hour, and all the good people in the lodge
came out to listen and applaud. I was jammed up against her, and
couldn't stir. At the end she invited them to come into the lodge to
see a good man--I quote her verbatim--an upright citizen, a credit to
his country and an ornament to society, take the pledge. When she
stopped, Jasperson began, in that soft, silky voice of his. He thanked
her, and said he was glad to know that he was held in such high
esteem; that he cordially hoped the boys would come in, as he was
paying for the banquet, and that after supper they might expect a real
sociable time!

"That's all, but it was enough for the Grand Secretary. She gave a
ghastly scream, and keeled over, right into my arms."

"And where," said I, "is Jasperson?"

"Jasperson," replied Ajax soberly, "is being removed in a spring-wagon
to his own ranch. To-morrow he will be a very sick man, but I think
I've got him out of his scrape."

VII

FIFTEEN FAT STEERS

"Uncle Jake says," murmured Ajax, "that Laban Swiggart has been
'milking' us ever since we bought this ranch."

Laban was our neighbour. A barbed-wire fence divided his sterile hills
from our fertile valleys, and emphasised sharply the difference
between a Government claim and a Spanish grant. The County Assessor
valued the Swiggart ranch at the rate of _one_, and our domain at
_six_ dollars per acre. We owned two leagues of land, our
neighbours but half a section. Yet, in consequence of dry seasons and
low prices, we were hardly able to pay our bills, whereas the
Swiggarts confounded all laws of cause and effect by living in
comparative splendour and luxury.

"Uncle Jake believes that he stole our steers," continued Ajax,
puffing slowly at his pipe.

Some two years before we had lost fifteen fat steers. We had employed
Laban to look for them, and he had charged us thirty dollars for
labours that were in vain.

"Ajax," said I, "we have eaten the Swiggarts'