o rejected offer. May I send it safely by your old
man? I have reasons for not sending it by Hickman's servant; unless I
had a bank note. Inquiring for such may cause distrust. My mother is so
busy, so inquisitive--I don't love suspicious tempers.

And here she is continually in and out--I must break off.

*****

Mr. Hickman begs his most respectful compliments to you, with offer of
his services. I told him I would oblige him, because minds in trouble
take kindly any body's civilities: but that he was not to imagine that
he particularly obliged me by this; since I should think the man or
woman either blind or stupid who admired not a person of your exalted
merit for your own sake, and wished not to serve you without view to
other reward than the honour of serving you.

To be sure, that was his principal motive, with great daintiness he said
it: but with a kiss of his hand, and a bow to my feet, he hoped, that a
fine lady's being my friend did not lessen the merit of the reverence he
really had for her.

Believe me ever, what you, my dear, shall ever find me,

Your faithful and affectionate, ANNA HOWE.

LETTER XXVIII

MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE SAT. AFTERNOON.

I detain your messenger while I write an answer to yours; the poor old
man not being very well.

You dishearten me a good deal about Mr. Lovelace. I may be too willing
from my sad circumstances to think the best of him. If his pretences
to reformation are but pretences, what must be his intent? But can the
heart of man be so very vile? Can he, dare he, mock the Almighty? But
I may not, from one very sad reflection, think better of him; that I am
thrown too much into his power, to make it necessary for him (except
he were to intend the very utmost villany by me) to be such a shocking
hypocrite? He must, at least be in earnest at the time he gives the
better hopes. Surely he must. You yourself must join with me in this
hope, or you could not wish me to be so dreadfully yoked.

But after all, I had rather, much rather, be independent of him, and of
his family, although I have an high opinion of them; at least till I see
what my own may be brought to.--Otherwise, I think, it were best for me,
at once, to cast myself into Lady Betty's protection. All would then be
conducted with decency, and perhaps many mortifications would be spared
me. But then I must be his, at all adventures, and be thought to defy my
own family. And shall I not f