"Yes," said Gregory, and for a long time he could not say any more. He
sat with his elbow on the table, and his head against his lifted hand.
"You see," she began, gently, "I got to thinking that even if I eva
came to believe what you wanted me to, I should be doing it after all,
because you wanted me to--"
"Yes, yes," he answered, desolately. "There is no way out of it. If you
only hated me, Clementina, despised me--I don't mean that. But if you
were not so good, I could have a more hope for you--for myself. It's
because you are so good that I can't make myself wish to change you,
and yet I know--I am afraid that if you told me my life and objects were
wrong, I should turn from them, and be whatever you said. Do you tell me
that?"
"No, indeed!" cried Clementina, with abhorrence. "Then I should despise
you."
He seemed not to heed her. He moved his lips as if he were talking to
himself, and he pleaded, "What shall we do?"
"We must try to think it out, and if we can't--if you can't let me give
up to you unless I do it for the same reason that you do; and if I
can't let you give up for me, and I know I could neva do that; then--we
mustn't!"
"Do you mean, we must part? Not see each other again?"
"What use would it be?"
"None," he owned. She had risen, and he stood up perforce. "May I--may I
come back to tell you?"
"Tell me what?" she asked.
"You are right! If I can't make it right, I won't come. But I won't say
good bye. I--can't."
She let him go, and Maddalena came in at the door. "Signorina," she
said, "the signora is not well. Shall I send for the doctor?"
"Yes, yes, Maddalena. Run!" cried Clementina, distractedly. She hurried
to Mrs. Lander's room, where she found her too sick for reproaches, for
anything but appeals for help and pity. The girl had not to wait for
Doctor Welwright's coming to understand that the attack was severer than
any before.
It lasted through the day, and she could see that he was troubled. It
had not followed upon any imprudeuce, as Mrs. Lander pathetically called
Clementina to witness when her pain had been so far quelled that she
could talk of her seizure.
He found her greatly weakened by it the next day, and he sat looking
thoughtfully at her before he said that she needed toning up. She caught
at the notion. "Yes, yes! That's what I need, docta! Toning up! That's
what I need."
He suggested, "How would you like to try the sea air, and the baths--at
Venic
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