he things that
were before if he was to attain the prize of the high calling of God in
Christ Jesus.[12] Men trembled at his words of burning rebuke, while
he trembled lest having preached to others he himself should be a
castaway.[13]

The experience of the great Apostle is shared by every soul who loves
God, and the reason is plain.

{197}

The nearer we approach to our Lord, the more vivid is the contrast
between our sin-stained souls and His perfect life. In the
illumination of His near presence every fault stands out in awful
prominence, and though there may not be a tenth of the sin that once
filled our lives, our consciousness of it is a hundred-fold increased.

This must be the case if we are vigilant; and Satan finds in this
condition much occasion for temptation. Let us illustrate. A certain
man has all his life been a slave to the sin of anger. Every day he
has been guilty of it. It becomes so common a thing in his life that
he sins habitually, forgetting it five minutes afterward. He kept no
account with himself. Had he been questioned about it, he could have
given no idea of the frequency of the sin. This man is converted. He
now fights hard, and maintains a careful watch over himself. Where sin
formerly came and went without attracting notice, now every approach of
it is keenly felt. At the end of the day he can recall distinctly a
half-dozen falls, and he is tempted to think the case is hopeless. But
last week there was a score of falls, though he scarcely remembered two
of them at the end of the day. Now he remembers thrice that number
with terrible vividness. But the increase of consciousness of sin is
not the increase of sin. {198} He is amending his life, though quite
the contrary _seems_ the case.

These considerations show us how untrue, of necessity, must be all our
estimates of our progress in amendment. We have no outside point of
view from the vantage-ground of which we can form a right judgment.

Therefore God says to the sinner, "Make your resolution in honesty of
purpose; commit it to Me; do the best you can; above all things never
violate your own conscience; and under no circumstances try to estimate
your progress. If you should see that you had advanced, pride and
presumption would arise to imperil you; if you could see no progress,
the temptation to despair might unnerve you. Commit your ways unto Me;
that will bring a man peace at the last."

V. _The Gainsa