panic-stricken
at the course the boat was taking, blundered frightfully as the New
Zealander assumed command.

No doubt the best mess in the town at that time was the one conducted
by the members of the hospital detachment. "Shorty," who did the
cooking, was a local druggist in his way; that is, he sold the natives
talcum powder, which they bought at quinine rates. The acting steward,
whom all the Filipinos called "Francisco," though his name was Louis,
was a butcher, and a doctor too. Catching the Spaniard's goat out
late at night, he knocked it in the head. The carcass was then taken
into the dissecting-room, where it was skinned and dressed for the
fresh-meat supply. He had acquired a local reputation as a _medico_,
to the disgust of the real army doctor, who, for a long time, could
not imagine why his medicines had disappeared so fast. Then there was
"Red," who had the art of laziness down fine, and who could usually
be found playing _monte_ with the natives. With the money he had won
at _monte_ games and chicken-fights, he intended to set up a drugstore
in America.

In a downpour of rain I left one morning for Aloran, down the coast
and up the winding river. Prisoners furnished by the _presidente_
manned the _banca_. They were guarded by a barefooted municipal
policeman, who, on falling presently to sleep, would probably have
lost his Mauser overboard had not one of the convicts rescued it and
courteously returned it to him. It was a wet and lonesome pull up the
Aloran River, walled in on both sides by _nipa_ jungles, and forever
winding in and out. After an hour or so, while I was wondering what
we were coming to, we met a raft poled down the stream with "Red"
and a young Austrian constabulary officer aboard.

Finding a little teacup of a house, I moved in, and, before an
interested throng of natives, started to unpack my trunks and boxes
with a sense of genuine relief; for I had had four months of traveling
and living out of steamer-trunks. But I returned to Oroquieta all in
good time for the doctor's birthday and the annual Oroquieta ball. I
found the doctor wandering about Aloran late one afternoon; for he had
been attending a sick Chinaman. We started back together through the
night, and, in the darkness, voices greeted us, or snarled a "_Buenas
noches_" at us as we passed. Bridges that carabaos had fallen through
were crossed successfully, and we arrived at Oroquieta during the
band concert.

The foreig