drank his Health, but
wish'd it; and never came to the House, but ask'd his Man kindly how he
did; that in particular, about half a Year ago, when his Reverence cut
his Finger in paring an Apple, he went half a Mile to ask a cunning
Woman, what was good to stanch Blood, and actually returned with a
Cobweb in his Breeches Pocket:--Nay, says Trim, it was not a Fortnight
ago, when your Reverence took that violent Purge, that I went to the far
End of the whole Town to borrow you a Close-stool,--and came back, as my
Neighbours, who flouted me, will all bear witness, with the Pan upon my
Head, and never thought it too much."

Trim concluded his pathetick Remonstrance with saying, "He hoped his
Reverence's Heart would not suffer him to requite so many faithful
Services by so unkind a Return:--That if it was so, as he was the first,
so he hoped he should be the last, Example of a Man of his Condition so
treated."--This Plan of Trim's Defence, which Trim had put himself
upon,--could admit of no other Reply but a general Smile.

Upon the whole, let me inform you, That all that could be said, pro and
con, on both Sides, being fairly heard, it was plain, That Trim, in
every Part of this Affair, had behaved very ill;--and one Thing, which
was never expected to be known of him, happening in the Course of this
Debate to come out against him; namely, That he had gone and told the
Parson, before he had ever set Foot in his Parish, That John his Parish-
Clerk,--his Church-Wardens, and some of the Heads of the Parish, were a
Parcel of Scoundrels.--Upon the Upshot, Trim was kick'd out of Doors;
and told, at his Peril, never to come there again.

At first Trim huff'd and bounced most terribly;--swore he would get a
Warrant;--then nothing would serve him but he would call a Bye-Law, and
tell the whole Parish how the Parson had misused him;--but cooling of
that, as fearing the Parson might possibly bind him over to his good
Behaviour, and, for aught he knew, might send him to the House of
Correction,--he let the Parson alone; and, to revenge himself, falls
foul upon his Clerk, who had no more to do in the Quarrel than you or
I;--rips up the Promise of the old-cast-Pair-of-black-Plush-Breeches,
and raises an Uproar in the Town about it, notwithstanding it had slept
ten Years.--But all this, you must know, is look'd upon in no other
Light, but as an artful Stroke of Generalship in Trim, to raise a Dust,
and cover himself under the disgracefu