had begun to fear that he was not such a man as I had always
thought him,--as I had spoken of him to you."

"I had judged of him for myself," said Alice.

"Of course you did. But I had endeavoured to make you judge kindly.
Alice, dear! we have both suffered for him; you more than I, perhaps;
but I, too, have given up everything for him. My whole life has
been at his service. I have been his creature, to do his bidding,
just as he might tell me. He made me do things that I knew to be
wrong,--things that were foreign to my own nature; and yet I almost
worshipped him. Even now, if he were to come back, I believe that I
should forgive him everything."

"I should forgive him, but I could never do more."

"But he will never come back. He will never ask us to forgive him, or
even wish it. He has no heart."

"He has longed for money till the Devil has hardened his heart," said
Alice.

"And yet how tender he could be in his manner when he chose it;--how
soft he could make his words and his looks! Do you remember how he
behaved to us in Switzerland? Do you remember that balcony at Basle,
and the night we sat there, when the boys were swimming down the
river?"

"Yes;--I remember."

"So do I! So do I! Alice, I would give all I have in the world, if I
could recall that journey to Switzerland."

"If you mean for my sake, Kate--"

"I do mean for your sake. It made no difference to me. Whether I
stayed in Westmoreland or went abroad, I must have found out that my
god was made of bricks and clay instead of gold. But there was no
need for you to be crushed in the ruins."

"I am not crushed, Kate!"

"Of course, you are too proud to own it?"

"If you mean about Mr Grey, that would have happened just the same,
whether I had gone abroad or remained at home."

"Would it, dear?"

"Just the same."

There was nothing more than this said between them about Mr Grey.
Even to her cousin, Alice could not bring herself to talk freely on
that subject. She would never allow herself to think, for a moment,
that she had been persuaded by others to treat him as she had treated
him. She was sure that she had acted on her own convictions of what
was right and wrong; and now, though she had begun to feel that she
had been wrong, she would hardly confess as much even to herself.

They walked back, down the hill, to the Hall in silence for the
greater part of the way. Once or twice Kate repeated her conviction
that she should never again