ad taught herself to consider it to be her duty to
sacrifice everything to his welfare. It is very sad to abandon the
only object of a life! It is very hard to tear out from one's heart
and fling away from it the only love that one has cherished! What was
she to say to Alice about all this--to Alice whom she had cheated of
a husband worthy of her, that she might allure her into the arms of
one so utterly unworthy? Luckily for Kate, her accident was of such a
nature that any writing to Alice was now out of the question.
But a blow! What woman can bear a blow from a man, and afterwards
return to him with love? A wife may have to bear it and to return.
And she may return with that sort of love which is a thing of custom.
The man is the father of her children, and earns the bread which they
eat and which she eats. Habit and the ways of the world require that
she should be careful in his interests, and that she should live with
him in what amity is possible to them. But as for love,--all that we
mean by love when we speak of it and write of it,--a blow given by
the defender to the defenceless crushes it all! A woman may forgive
deceit, treachery, desertion,--even the preference given to a rival.
She may forgive them and forget them; but I do not think that a woman
can forget a blow. And as for forgiveness,--it is not the blow that
she cannot forgive, but the meanness of spirit that made it possible.
Kate, as she thought of it, told herself that everything in life was
over for her. She had long feared her brother's nature,--had feared
that he was hard and heartless; but still there had been some hope
with her fear. Success, if he could be made to achieve it, would
soften him, and then all might be right. But now all was wrong, and
she knew that it was so. When he had compelled her to write to Alice
for money, her faith in him had almost succumbed. That had been very
mean, and the meanness had shocked her. But now he had asked her to
perjure herself that he might have his own way, and had threatened
to murder her, and had raised his hand against her because she
had refused to obey him. And he had accused her of treachery to
himself,--had accused her of premeditated deceit in obtaining this
property for herself!
"But he does not believe it," said Kate to herself. "He said that
because he thought it would vex me; but I know he does not think it."
Kate had watched her brother longing for money all his life,--had
thoroughly
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