great many things she never means. She has got
ambition enough. She would'nt be a Chapman if she had'nt."

Dinner was now announced. "I shall be so happy to escort you," said Mr.
Gusher, nearly doubling himself in a bow, and extending his arm.

Mattie hesitated for a moment, blushed, and seemed confused. "Please,
Mr. Gusher," she said, bowing and extending her right hand, "escort my
dear mother." Here was an awkward situation. Mr. Gusher's knowledge of
etiquette was for once put on trial by a plain, simple-hearted country
girl. But his offer was intended only as a compliment, and surely, he
thought, the girl would accept it in that light.

Turning nervously to Mrs. Chapman he extended his arm, saying: "Pardon,
madam, pardon. You will understand?"

"Oh, certainly, Mr. Gusher," returned the ponderous woman. "You are so
very kind--so very kind, Mr. Gusher."

Never before had Mr. Gusher escorted a woman of such ponderous
circumference. Mattie followed, her roguish smiles indicating that she
enjoyed what she considered a joke played at Mr. Gusher's expense. The
picture presented by the meeting of such extremes was indeed a ludicrous
one.

I will not weary the reader with a description of or explain a family
dinner such as that generally spread by the Chapmans, nor with the many
apologies made by Mrs. Chapman that they had not something better to set
before so distinguished a guest as Mr. Philo Gusher. Chapman was already
seated at the table, busy with a huge fork and carving-knife.

"We don't stand on ceremony here," said he. "Our visitors are always
welcome, and expected to make themselves at home. (Pointing with the
carving-knife to opposite sides of the table.) Take seats, take seats,
now," he concluded.

Mrs. Chapman made a motion to seat Mattie on Mr. Gusher's left, an honor
she did not seem to appreciate, for she insisted on taking a seat
opposite--her proper place.

When dinner was over Mr. Gusher escorted Mattie back into the parlor.
"You shall understand me better, miz, I am sure you shall, as we get
better acquainted. And now you shall zing to me, and play me some
music," said he, opening the piano and arranging the stool and music.
"You will zee I shall make myself agreeable," he repeated two or three
times, then extending his hand. But instead of accepting it Mattie
returned a cold, formal bow, and proceeded to the piano unaided.

"The truth is, Mr. Gusher," said Mattie, running her fingers up and dow