an atrocity worthy of the darkest ages.
The only safe thing appears to be the sub-surface irrigation plan, for
which, fortunately, there is plenty of room on our lot. This comes very
near to Uncle Harry's notion of 'earth to earth' in the quickest time
possible. If we do it and accept the architect's suggestion in the plan
of the house we shall be reasonably safe from that most mysterious of
all modern foes--sewer-gas."

"I've forgotten the architect's suggestions; in fact, I don't believe
my head is quite equal to housebuilding with all the latest notions.
When _my_ house was built I just told the carpenter to get up something
stylish and good, about like Judge Gainsboro's. He showed me the plans,
I signed the contract, and that was the whole of it. I supposed a house
was a house. Now, before the new house is begun, I'm like Dick
Whittington in the days of his poverty--I've no peace by day or night."

"Poor fellow!"

"I shudder to think what it will he when the house is fairly under way.
I can see five hundred different things at once, but when each one has
five hundred sides and we get up into the hundred thousands, I begin to
feel dizzy. Uncle Harry has settled the plumbing question to his own
satisfaction, so far as first principles are concerned; but who will
tell us what kind of pipes and trimmings and bowls and basins and traps
and plugs and stops and pedals and pulls and cranks and pistons and
plungers and hooks and staples and couplings and brakes and chains and
pans and basins and tanks and floats and buoys and strainers and safes
and bibbs and tuckers we are to adopt? If I should consume midnight oil
during a full four years' course at a college for plumbers I should
still find myself just upon the threshold of the temple of knowledge."

CHAPTER XIV.

SAFE FLUES AND MORE LIGHT.

By a tender but vigorous application of the remedies usual in such
cases, Jack was speedily restored to his wonted equanimity, and Jill,
laying Uncle Harry aside, took up the architect's suggestions
concerning the plumbing, which referred rather to its relations to the
plan of the house than to the details of the work itself.

"A bath-room, with all the plumbing articles it usually contains, must
possess at least three special characteristics. It must be easily
warmed in cold weather, otherwise the annual bill for repairs will be
greater than the cost of coal for the whole house; its walls, floors
and ceilings must be