d enable the men to pass the winning-post
in single file. He then lit a cigarette and took his stand at the narrow
end, producing from his pocket seven hundred and fifty neat red tickets
(numbered from one to seven hundred and fifty) which the chief writer
had made out for him the night before.

At 8.45 Number One arrived. To help him he had brought a couple of
watch-keepers, a surgeon, three engineers, a naval instructor and the
captain of Marines. He only paused to borrow one side of the gunner's V
and all but forty of the A.P.'s tickets, and passed on down the road.
When he had reached a suitable point about a hundred yards south of the
A.P. he had the purloined rope stretched slantwise, in such a way that
the only means of passing it was a little passage a yard wide between
the rope and the ditch on the right of the road. A little nearer still
to the starting-point he had a large placard erected with the words
"Keep to the Right" painted on it.

Punctually at 9.0 the Commander arrived with a piece of string and the
P.M.O. They took up their stand one on each side of the road opposite
the placard. The Bloke produced a small gold pencil, but, as he had
forgotten to bring any paper, he commandeered the placard and began
feverishly to write down all the numbers he could think of from one to
six hundred and fifty.

You are no doubt anxiously awaiting the arrival of the Owner at 9.15.
Well, I'm afraid I must disappoint you. Still, although he did not come
in person, yet he made his presence felt, as every good skipper should.
At 9.15, as the ship's company were lining up for the start by the
semaphore, he made the signal from the ship:--

"Sailing at 13.30. Return immediately."

* * * * *

SONGS OF SIMLA.

V.--PELITI'S.

I troll you no song that will hinder you long,
I pen you no ponderous treatise,
The theme that I sing is a gossamer thing
As light as the cakes at PELITI'S.

Grey roofs mid the pines and a heaven that shines
As blue as the water where Crete is,
The malachite green of a misty ravine,
That's the balcony view at PELITI'S.

There are mortals, may be, who abominate tea
(One's poison another man's meat is),
Who shy at the touch of a crumpet--for such
There is music and love at PELITI'S.

See that G.S.O.2 with the lady in blue;
Has she noticed where one of his feet is,
Or the issue that hangs on the plate of meringues