ritten to us, asking
whether corns can be cured by cutting, so it must be the last. The thing
palls, and we must now try whether ACORN cannot be got rid of by
cutting.

_Horseman_.--No; we never remember to have met a man who did not "know
all about a horse." If such a man can be found, his fortune and that of
the finder are assured.

_Seeker_.--It may be true that man changes once in every seven years but
that will hardly excuse you from paying your tailor's bill contracted in
1862, on the ground that you are not the same man.

_Fond Mother_.--None but a brutal bachelor would object to a "sweet
little baby," merely because it was bald-headed.

_Sempronius_.--Would you advise me to commit suicide by hanging?

_Answer_.--No. If you are really bound to hang, we would advise you to
hang about some nice young female person's neck instead of by your own:
it's pleasanter.

_Wacks_.--Yes, the Alaska seal contracts will undoubtedly include the
great Seal of the United States.

_"Talented" Author_.--We do not pay for rejected communications.

_Many Inquiriers_.--We can furnish back numbers to a limited extent;
future ones by the cargo, or steamboat.

* * * * *

FINANCIAL.

WALL STREET, AUGUST 2ND.

Respected Sir: Acting upon your suggestion that, despite the repugnance
with which the truly artistic mind must ever view it, Commerce was a
rising institution, and that amongst the thousands of the refined and
haughty who read PUNCHINELLO with feelings of astonishment and awe,
there were some misguided men whose energies had been perverted to the
pursuit of filthy lucre, your contributor yesterday descended into the
purlieus of the city in quest of information wherewith to pander to the
tastes of the debased few.

It would be useless to point out to you that 10 A.M. is not the hour at
which it is the custom of Y.C. to tear himself from his luxurious conch.
His conception of the exalted has always been associated with late
breakfasts. On this memorable occasion, however, duty and a bell-boy
called him; and at the extraordinary hour to which he has referred he
arose and set about his investigations.

A party of distinguished and sorrowing friends accompanied him as far as
BANG'S. The regard which he cherishes for poetry and art had hitherto
marked out this pleasant hostelrie as the utmost limit of his down-town
perambulations. The conversation of his distinguished friends was
elevating: