a vitriol splash or a bout of the small-pox. One or
the other might have saved me from this calamity.

I am inclined to think that I may have trouble to-night. There are two
things which make me fear so. One is that I met Mrs. Wilson in the
street, and that she tells me that Miss Penclosa is better, though
still weak. I find myself wishing in my heart that the illness had
been her last. The other is that Professor Wilson comes back in a day
or two, and his presence would act as a constraint upon her. I should
not fear our interviews if a third person were present. For both these
reasons I have a presentiment of trouble to-night, and I shall take the
same precautions as before.

April 10. No, thank God, all went well last night. I really could not
face the gardener again. I locked my door and thrust the key
underneath it, so that I had to ask the maid to let me out in the
morning. But the precaution was really not needed, for I never had any
inclination to go out at all. Three evenings in succession at home! I
am surely near the end of my troubles, for Wilson will be home again
either today or tomorrow. Shall I tell him of what I have gone through
or not? I am convinced that I should not have the slightest sympathy
from him. He would look upon me as an interesting case, and read a
paper about me at the next meeting of the Psychical Society, in which
he would gravely discuss the possibility of my being a deliberate liar,
and weigh it against the chances of my being in an early stage of
lunacy. No, I shall get no comfort out of Wilson.

I am feeling wonderfully fit and well. I don't think I ever lectured
with greater spirit. Oh, if I could only get this shadow off my life,
how happy I should be! Young, fairly wealthy, in the front rank of my
profession, engaged to a beautiful and charming girl--have I not every
thing which a man could ask for? Only one thing to trouble me, but
what a thing it is!

Midnight. I shall go mad. Yes, that will be the end of it. I shall
go mad. I am not far from it now. My head throbs as I rest it on my
hot hand. I am quivering all over like a scared horse. Oh, what a
night I have had! And yet I have some cause to be satisfied also.

At the risk of becoming the laughing-stock of my own servant, I again
slipped my key under the door, imprisoning myself for the night. Then,
finding it too early to go to bed, I lay down with my clothes on and
began to read one of D