et
delightful; I could have stood there talking burglars with her till
dawn. "Do you wish to come in and make sure that he is not in hiding?"
With a half smile for which I didn't blame her, she moved a step aside.

"Certainly not!" I said firmly, ignoring a nudge from the policeman.
"He left before you came--there was ample time. It is not of the least
consequence, anyhow. Again I beg your pardon." As she inclined her head,
I bowed, and closed the door.

"I trust Mr. Bayne, that you are satisfied at last." This was the St.
Ives manager, and I did not like his tone.

"I am satisfied of several things," I retorted sharply, "but before I
share them with you, will you kindly tell me your name?"

"My name is Ritter," he said with dignity. "I confess I fail to see what
bearing--"

"Call it curiosity," I interrupted. "Doctor, favor me with yours."

The doctor peered at me over his glasses, hesitated, and then revealed
his patronym. It was Swanburger, he informed me.

"But, my dear sir, what on earth--"

"Merely," said I, with conviction, "that this isn't an Allies' night. It
is _Deutschland uber Alles_; the stars are fighting for the Teuton race.
Now, let's hear how you were christened," I added, turning to the house
detective, who looked even less sunny than before if that could be.

"See here, whatcher giving us?" snarled that somewhat unpolished worthy.
"My name's Zeitfeld; but I was born in this country, don't you forget
it, same as you."

"A great American personality," I remarked dreamily, "has declared that
in the hyphenate lies the chief menace to the United States. And
what's your name?" I asked the representative of law and order. "Is it
Schmidt?"

"No, sir," he responded, grinning; "it's O'Reilly, sorr."

"Thank heaven for that! You've saved my reason," I assured him as I
leaned against the wall and scanned the Germanic hordes.

"Mr. Ritter," said I, addressing that gentleman coldly, "when I am next
in New York I don't think I shall stop with you. The atmosphere here is
too hectic; you answer calls for help too slowly--calls, at least, in
which a guest indiscreetly tells you that he has caught a German thief.
It looks extremely queer, gentlemen. And there are some other points as
well--"

But there I paused. I lacked the necessary conviction. After all I was
the average citizen, with the average incredulity of the far-fetched,
the melodramatic, the absurd. To connect the head waiter's panic at my
d