l, I know the feeling; but really it seems hardly right--

DOOLITTLE. Don't say that, Governor. Don't look at it that way. What am
I, Governors both? I ask you, what am I? I'm one of the undeserving
poor: that's what I am. Think of what that means to a man. It means
that he's up agen middle class morality all the time. If there's
anything going, and I put in for a bit of it, it's always the same
story: "You're undeserving; so you can't have it." But my needs is as
great as the most deserving widow's that ever got money out of six
different charities in one week for the death of the same husband. I
don't need less than a deserving man: I need more. I don't eat less
hearty than him; and I drink a lot more. I want a bit of amusement,
cause I'm a thinking man. I want cheerfulness and a song and a band
when I feel low. Well, they charge me just the same for everything as
they charge the deserving. What is middle class morality? Just an
excuse for never giving me anything. Therefore, I ask you, as two
gentlemen, not to play that game on me. I'm playing straight with you.
I ain't pretending to be deserving. I'm undeserving; and I mean to go
on being undeserving. I like it; and that's the truth. Will you take
advantage of a man's nature to do him out of the price of his own
daughter what he's brought up and fed and clothed by the sweat of his
brow until she's growed big enough to be interesting to you two
gentlemen? Is five pounds unreasonable? I put it to you; and I leave it
to you.

HIGGINS [rising, and going over to Pickering] Pickering: if we were to
take this man in hand for three months, he could choose between a seat
in the Cabinet and a popular pulpit in Wales.

PICKERING. What do you say to that, Doolittle?

DOOLITTLE. Not me, Governor, thank you kindly. I've heard all the
preachers and all the prime ministers--for I'm a thinking man and game
for politics or religion or social reform same as all the other
amusements--and I tell you it's a dog's life anyway you look at it.
Undeserving poverty is my line. Taking one station in society with
another, it's--it's--well, it's the only one that has any ginger in it,
to my taste.

HIGGINS. I suppose we must give him a fiver.

PICKERING. He'll make a bad use of it, I'm afraid.

DOOLITTLE. Not me, Governor, so help me I won't. Don't you be afraid
that I'll save it and spare it and live idle on it. There won't be a
penny of it left by Monday: I'll have to go to work same a