and I
sailed away in May with no more definite answer than "_Au revoir_ in
Paris" to him.

While singing there at the Opera Comique, we again went over the same
ground--futilely; and it was not till the following July in Berlin that
I was able to arrange a several years' engagement which, in the light of
the last years, I may reasonably conclude has been to nobody's
dissatisfaction.

My third Metropolitan season started unhappily. I arrived ill and
fagged; lamentable altercations took place between the new conductor,
Mr. Toscanini, and myself, each having quite opposite ideas as to the
merits of conductor and prima donna, respectively. The estrangement was
complete after the opening performance of "Madame Butterfly," when we
both lost our manners and our tempers in high-handed fashion.

Outside influences fanned resentment to a white heat, at least on my
part; I was in a fury. The papers gave space to stupid fabrications and
stories purporting to emanate from those speaking with authority, whose
names, however, one could never discover.

Ill in mind and health, I was vexed enough to offer to buy my release
from such bondage as I now lived in artistically. I was far from happy,
and when I am not happy I cannot sing well. My one idea was to escape
from all this turbulence and what seemed to me to be a hotbed of
intrigue. I was a rebel, yes; but I was no dissembler, and I hated to
come into contact with those in authority under present conditions.
Every performance was an occasion of dread; things looked very dark for
my peace of mind.

[Illustration: THE GOOSE GIRL IN "KOENIGSKINDER"]

Needless to say, I was not granted a release, but must struggle on
during the closing weeks of the spring. I resigned myself to finish the
season as best I could, but I was quite decided that when the roll
call came the following autumn I would spend my winter quietly in
Berlin. That was all to be changed, however, by the very unexpected and
friendly overtures which Mr. Toscanini, to my great surprise, made one
memorable evening of "Madame Butterfly" in Chicago.

When two ardent and honest workers are desirous of eliminating
misunderstandings it is not difficult to arrive at a solution. The
various phases of the seething disquiet that had prevailed between us
were discussed with commendable frankness on both sides. I need not add
that the result was a happy one, and I thereby gained a firm friend and
an invaluable ally in my work.