FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   71   72   73   74   75   76   77   78   79   80   81   82   83   84   85   86   87   88   89   90   91   92   93   94   95  
96   97   98   99   100   101   102   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   >>   >|  
in curtain of her window, and, watching him, passed through an extraordinarily rapid sequence of emotions. The horse was a chestnut, and it stepped lightly and springily. As she thought of how and when she had last seen its rider, she felt a sensation that was like helplessness, shame, and fear all mingled. It was as though her whole body, muscles, flesh and nerves, quailed and grew weak at the mere sight of him; as though inherited instincts were controlling her, and would always control her whenever she was in his presence; as though she the descendant of serfs must infallibly submit to the descendant of lords--must forever fear the man who had been her master even when he was her lover. Rationally she hated him for the harm that he had done her, but instinctively she feared him for the further harm that he might yet have power to do. And together with the hatred and the fear, there was a pitiful sneaking admiration. He looked so grand and unruffled--so old, and yet sitting the skittish, high-mettled horse so firmly; so feeble, and yet full of such an absolute confidence in his power to rule and subordinate, accustomed for forty years to the unfailing subjection of such things as servants, horses, and women. Her heart bumped against her stays, and her face became red and then white, when she thought that he intended to stop at the post office and ask for her. But he rode on--gave one glance up toward the windows from which she shrank still further, and rode by, right down the street, with the horse swishing its long tail and seeming to dance in a light amble. Then, as soon as he disappeared, the spell was broken. In all that she had confessed to her husband she had been sincere; but hers was a simple and easy going nature, and exaltation could not be long sustained. After excitement she returned rapidly to a passive and unimaginative level; and now, quietly brooding, she could not do otherwise than justify herself for all that had happened. At the end of everything she felt a deep-seated conviction that she was in truth blameless. She was not a bad woman. Therefore it would be wicked to treat her as a sinner and an outcast. Sinners did wrong because they enjoyed the sin; but she had never been vicious, or even selfishly anxious for pleasure. Pleasure! She had never cared for that sort of thing. Girls of her own age used to talk to her about it, and what they said was almost incomprehensible. She had never ha
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   71   72   73   74   75   76   77   78   79   80   81   82   83   84   85   86   87   88   89   90   91   92   93   94   95  
96   97   98   99   100   101   102   103   104   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   >>   >|  



Top keywords:
descendant
 

thought

 

confessed

 
husband
 

broken

 
disappeared
 

sincere

 

sustained

 

exaltation

 

nature


simple

 
glance
 

windows

 

shrank

 

incomprehensible

 

swishing

 

street

 

conviction

 

blameless

 
vicious

seated

 

outcast

 
Sinners
 

sinner

 

enjoyed

 

Therefore

 

wicked

 
office
 

happened

 
passive

Pleasure

 

rapidly

 

returned

 

excitement

 
unimaginative
 

justify

 

selfishly

 
brooding
 

pleasure

 

quietly


anxious

 
accustomed
 

inherited

 

instincts

 

muscles

 

nerves

 

quailed

 

controlling

 

forever

 

master