of a
kind not only too coarse for general perusal, but so dependant for
effect upon the manner of telling them, that it would be idle to relate
them here. Their first meeting, however, and the conversation on that
occasion may be hazarded. A gentleman of the name of Mills, an old
friend of W's and much in his good graces, introduced our youth to him,
having previously obtained his consent to see the lad, and consider what
line of business he was fit for. "You must not," said this mutual
friend, "take ill any thing that Whiteley says to you. He is a kind of
privileged person--_says_ what he pleases to every one, and _does_ all
the good he can. But this I can tell you, that if he treats you
ceremoniously (for no man can be more perfectly the gentleman when he
pleases) you have no chance with him.

"My name being announced," said H. relating to this writer his first
interview, "Jemmy Whiteley surveyed me from head to foot with a grinning
drollery, that no words can describe; he spat out, according to custom,
about a score of times, and after a tittering laugh was proceeding to
speak, when he was suddenly called off." "Stay here," said he, "I'll be
back in a minute or two." As he was leaving the room he stopped at the
door--looked back at me again--pulled up his small clothes, and
jeeringly tittered at me in a manner that was enough to provoke a saint,
if it were not for the man's well known character. "It will do I see,"
said my friend, "depend upon it, it will do--dont mind his sayings; but
when you come to business, be plain, downright and firm, and you'll have
his heart." When W. returned, he again surveyed me from head to foot,
and again grinned and tittered. I was almost as tall as I am now, and as
thin perhaps as you ever saw any one of the same height. My face too was
pale from recent indisposition, and I had no appearance of beard. "So,"
said he, addressing Mills, "this is the chap about whom you gave me such
a platter of stirabout with Ballyhack butter[G] in it yesterday." So far
from being vexed or daunted by this first address, the like of which I
had never heard before, nor could well understand, the playful,
good-natured drollery in his face, and the singularity of his deportment
tickled me so, that I could not, if it were to save my life, suppress a
smile of merriment, upon which after scrutinizing my face with the eye
of a master of his business, he turned to the other and said, "the
blackguard has some fun