s peers; he loathed
obscenity; he disliked and condemned bad language.

"The best men don't swear much," he would say. "It's doosid bad form. I
allow myself a 'damn' or two, nothing more. My great-grandfather, who
was one of the Regency lot, was known as Cursing Egerton, but nowadays
we leave that sort of thing to bargees."

Quite unconsciously, John assimilated the Caterpillar's axioms.

"We're not sent here at enormous expense to learn only Latin and Greek.
At Harrow and Eton one is licked into shape for the big things:
diplomacy, politics, the Services. One is taught manners, what? I'm not
a marrying sort of man, but if I do have sons I shall send 'em here,
even if I have to pinch a bit."

This was the side of Egerton which appealed so strongly to John. The
Caterpillar was an Harrovian to the core, like the Duffer and Caesar
Desmond. He deplored the increasing predominance of sons of very rich
men. And he anathematized Harrovian fathers who were persuaded by
Etonian wives to send their sons to the Plain instead of to the Hill.
That some of the famous Harrow families, who owed so much to the School,
should forsake it, seemed to Egerton the unpardonable sin.

During this term, regretfully must it be recorded that John scamped his
"prep" and "ragged" in form whenever a suitable chance presented itself.
The Duffer and he bribed a "Chaw"[15] to throw gravel against the
windows of the room where the boys were supposed to be mastering the
problems of Euclid and algebra. The "tique"[16] master had been Third
Wrangler, but he couldn't tackle his Division properly. Upon this
occasion the "chaw" created such a disturbance that (on audacious
demand) leave was granted to the Duffer and John to capture the
offender. The young rascals pursued the "chaw" as far as the
Metropolitan Station, and presented that conscientious youth with
another sixpence. Then it occurred to John that it might be expedient to
capture some bogus prisoner; so by means of talk, sugared with
chocolates, they persuaded a little girl to impersonate the thrower of
gravel. The little girl, carefully coached in her part, was led to the
Wrangler, but stage-fright made her burst into tears at the critical
moment. Somehow or other the truth leaked out; the Duffer and John were
sent up to the Head Master and "swished." Each collected a few twigs of
the birch, carefully preserved to this day.

Meantime, the Torpid house-matches were coming on, and the School
ag