en I came to Chicago with a pocket full of
money I sought James out and told him I owed him half a dollar. He
said no, but I insisted my memory was better than his, and made him
take it. Well, when I wanted ten dollars, I went to him, and he gave
it to me freely, and would take no security. Have written four hours
this evening; two pounds of crackers; sleep on office floor to-night."
The diary relates many incidents like this. He took a boyish pride
in refusing offers of assistance, in resisting temptation to innocent
indulgence, in passing most of his hours in study, earning only enough
by his copying to keep body and soul together. One entry is, "Read one
hundred and fifty pages of Blackstone--slept on floor." Such a regimen
was not long in having its effect upon even his rugged health. He
writes: "I tried to read, but could not. I am afraid my strength will
not hold out. I have contracted a cold by sleeping on the floor, which
has settled in my head, and nearly sets me crazy with catarrh. Then
there is that gnawing, unsatisfied sensation which I begin to feel
again, which prevents any long-continued application." About this time
he was urged to take command of a company of cadets which, through
mismanagement, had been reduced to a deplorable condition. He at first
declined, but afterward consented if the company would accept certain
rigorous conditions of discipline and obedience. He was as firm as
granite to his company, and cheery and gay to the world, while in his
private life he was subjecting himself to the cruel rigors described
in his diary of April 21: "I am convinced that the course of reading
which I am pursuing is not sufficiently thorough. Have commenced again
at beginning of Blackstone. I now read a proposition or paragraph
and reason upon it; try to get at the principle involved, in my own
language; view it in every light till I think I understand it; then
write it down in my commonplace book. My progress is, in consequence,
very slow, as it takes on an average half an hour to each page.
Attended meeting of cadets' committee on ways and means; all my
propositions accepted. I spent my last ten cents for crackers to-day.
Ten pages of Blackstone."
The next day he writes: "My mind was so occupied with obtaining
money due to-morrow that I could not study. Five pages of Blackstone.
Nothing whatever to eat. I am very tired and hungry to-night. Onward."
[Illustration: ELLSWORTH IN 1860, WHEN HE WAS CAPTAIN
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