r-on at the passing show I'm persuaded that you're not getting much
out of life. A mistake, sir; a mistake it grieves me to see you making."

"What I do or do not do," cried the old man, lifting his umbrella
belligerently, "is none of your infernal business."

"An error, sir; an error of considerable magnitude, if you will pardon
me! I wish my friend here to bear witness that I am qualified to offer
you excellent advice based on exact information as to your intimate
domestic affairs. You're a meddlesome person, Mr. Congdon, with a slight
element of cruelty in your makeup, of which let us hope you are not
wholly conscious. Morally you are skidding, but this I charitably
attribute to your lack of a wholesome and healthy interest in life.
Incidentally you've done all you could to destroy the happiness of your
son, who is a fine fellow and a gentleman."

"And his wife, your daughter-in-law, is one of the noblest women in the
world!" interjected Archie, seeing that the Governor's arraignment was
not without its effect on the odd, crumpled little figure. However, the
mention of Mrs. Congdon instantly aroused Eliphalet's ire.

"That woman ordered me out of her house--a house I bought and paid for!
She did her best to make my son hate me! She compelled him to quit the
businesses I started for the sole purpose of providing him employment!"

"Your trouble is that you never knew when Putney grew up," declared the
Governor. "You tried to boss him even after his marriage, and if Mrs.
Congdon turned you out of her house she did only what any
self-respecting woman would do. As the result of your miserly ways, your
meddlesomeness and your selfishness, you've just about ruined your life.
The penitentiary yawns for you." Eliphalet shuddered, and a look of fear
not pleasant to see crossed his face. "But," the Governor went on, "in
spite of your cowardly conduct I'm rather disposed to pull you out of
the hole."

"You will help; you really will help me?"

"Not if you cringe and whine like that. If you will stand square on your
feet and listen to me I'll make you a proposition. Don't flinch; I
don't want any of your money! I've heard that you make a habit of
carrying your will around in that umbrella, for the ludicrous reason
that you think you are not one of us absent-minded mortals who forget
our umbrellas. And you like to have the will handy so you can rewrite it
when the mood strikes you. Give me that thing!"

Eliphalet hesitated