hole until the Hun had finished his unpleasant pranks.

"Over came the fifth shell with a whistle and a scream, and--bang!--up
went the two carts in the air, while shell fragments flew all over the
place. Hanging on a line were various articles of washing, the clean
clothes of the water-cart crew. These were in the line of fire, and as
a consequence were well perforated.

"Now comes the sequel. They were taken to the Quartermaster on the
following morning, and, so it is said, he refused to replace them _on
the ground that the holes were not the result of fair wear and
tear_!..."

* * * * *

Two gentlemen rankers are introduced here.

"After some months of hard roughing it, two of the Battalion cooks
decided to apply, modestly, for commissions. So they duly appeared
before the Colonel. But the summons to attend did not give them time
in which to get out of their cooking rig, and the sergeant paraded
them in their old overalls.

"'Hem. Where were you educated?' asked the Colonel of one man.

"'Rugby and Oxford,' was the reply.

"'And what were you in private life?' asked the Colonel, turning to
the other.

"'A painter.'

"'A painter?' queried the Colonel.

"'Yes, sir. I have exhibited at the Royal Academy....'"

* * * * *

Many Germans left London when the war started, to fight against us.
This is one of them, turned up as a prisoner.

"We were up the line one day when a patrol brought in a Hun prisoner.
Of course we wanted information, for we were expecting an attack of
some sort that very night. So we hauled our man up before the C.O. and
started asking him questions. We tried him in German, and got no
reply. We tried French with him, and it had no result. Then, seeing he
was eyeing a water-bottle eagerly, I suddenly thought he might be
thirsty.

"'Ask him if he would like a drink,' I suggested.

"'I should,' came the reply, in quite as good English as I could have
spoken myself. Naturally I was surprised, and I asked him where he had
learnt his English.

"'In London, sir,' was the rejoinder. 'I worked as a barber close to
Holborn for years.'

"We gave him a little drink of whisky, and he told us there would be
no attack that night. But we took no chances. A guard, with fixed
bayonet, was placed over him, and he was told in English that he would
be the first to get his medicine if he had played us false.

"He had not, however. No att