ever gets such a start again. She
says when she peeked out between the blinds 'n' see Mrs. Sperrit's
Sunday bonnet 'n' realized her own state she nearly had a fit. Mrs.
Sperrit had to come in 'n' be explained to, 'n' the worst of it was as
Hiram could n't be woke no-how. He 'd pulled the ladder up after him 'n'
put the lid on the hole so 's to feel safe, 'n' there he was snug as a
bug in a rug 'n' where no human bein' could get at him. They hollered
'n' banged doors 'n' sharpened the carvin' knife an' poured grease on
the stove 'n' did anything they could think of, but he never budged.
Mrs. Macy says she never was so close to beside herself in all her life
before, for Gran'ma Mullins cried worse 'n ever each minute, 'n' Hiram
seemed like the very dead could n't wake him.

"They was all hoppin' around half crazy when Mr. Sperrit come along on
his way to the weddin' 'n' his wife run out 'n' told him what was the
matter 'n' he come right in 'n' looked up at the matter. It did n't take
long for _him_ to unsettle Hiram, Mrs. Macy says. He got a sulphur
candle 'n' tied it to a stick 'n' h'isted the lid with another stick,
'n' in less 'n two minutes they could all hear Hiram sneezin' an' comin'
to. 'N' Mrs. Macy says when they hollered what time it was she wishes
the whole town might have been there to see Hiram Mullins come down to
earth. Mr. Sperrit did n't hardly have time to get out o' the way 'n' he
did n't give his mother no show for one single grab,--he just bounced
into his room 'n' you could have heard him gettin' dressed on the far
side o' the far bridge.

"O' course, us at Lucy's did n't know anythin' a _tall_ about Mrs.
Macy's troubles. We had our own, Heaven help us, 'n' they was enough,
for the very first thing of all Mr. Dill caught his pocket on the corner
of Mrs. Dill 'n' come within a ace of pullin' her off her easel. That
would have been a pretty beginnin' to Lucy's weddin' day if her father
had smashed her mother's glass to bits, I guess, but it could n't have
made Lucy any worse; for I will say, Mrs. Lathrop, as I never see no one
in all my born life act foolisher than Lucy Dill this day. First she 'd
laugh 'n' then she 'd cry 'n' then she 'd lose suthin' as we 'd _got_ to
have to work with. 'N' when it come to dressin' her!--well, if she 'd
known as Hiram was sleepin' a sleep as next to knowed no wakin' she
could n't have put on more things wrong side out an' hind side before!
She was n't dressed till m