the blind man, although I could hardly be said to
have attained the state of seeing men as trees. I obtained in this
expedition a valuable knowledge of human nature from the variety I
met with; this, I think, was useful to me, though some were very
dangerous associates for so young a person, and the way in which I
was protected among them is in my remembrance very striking, and
leads me to acknowledge that at this most critical period of my
life the tender mercy of my God was marvelously displayed towards
me, and that His all-powerful--though to me then almost unseen and
unknown--hand held me up and protected me.

Self-abnegation and austerity were now to take the place of pleasant
frivolities and fashionable amusements. Her conviction was that her mind
required the ties and bonds of Quakerism to fit it for immortality. Not
that she, in any way, trusted in her own righteousness; for she gives it
as her opinion that, while principles of one's own making are useless in
the elevation and refinement of character, true religion, on the
contrary, does exalt and purify the character. Still the struggle was
not over. Long and bitter as it had been, it became still more bitter;
and the nightly recurrence of a dream at this period will serve to show
how agitated was her mental and spiritual nature. Just emancipated from
sceptical principles, accustomed to independent research, and deciding
to study the New Testament rather than good books, when on the
border-land of indecision and gloomy doubt, yet not wholly convinced or
comforted, her sleeping hours reflected the bitter, restless doubt of
her waking thoughts. A curious dream followed her almost nightly, and
filled her with terror. She imagined herself to be in danger of being
washed away by the sea, and as the waves approached her, she experienced
all the horror of being drowned. But after she came to the deciding
point, or, as she expressed it, "felt that she had really and truly got
real faith," she was lifted up in her dream above the waves. Secure upon
a rock, above their reach, she watched the water as it tossed and
roared, but powerless to hurt her. The dream no more recurred; the
struggle was ended, and thankful calm became her portion. She accepted
this dream as a lesson that she should not be drowned in the ocean of
this world, but should mount above its influence, and remain a faithful
and steady servant of God.

Elizabeth