determined not
to think that there was anything special about my case. But when the
time came that they threw it into my face and I was suddenly forced to
say: 'yes, it is so,' oh, _that_ was terrible. Mother--well, I could
get along with her, but father, who had the village blacksmith's shop,
he was severe and quick to fly into a rage. When he heard it, he came
at me with a pair of tongs which he had just taken from the fire and
was going to kill me. I screamed and ran up to the attic and hid
myself and there I lay and trembled, and did not come down till they
called me and told me to come. Besides, I had a younger sister, who
always pointed at me and said: 'Ugh!' Then when the child was about to
come I went into a barn near by, because I was afraid to stay in the
house. There strangers found me half dead and carried me into the
house and laid me in my bed. The third day they took the child away
and when I asked where it was they said it was well taken care of. Oh,
your Ladyship, may the holy mother of God protect you from such
distress!"

Effi was startled and stared at Roswitha with wide-opened eyes. But
she was more frightened than vexed. "The things you do say! Why, I am
a married woman. You must not say such things; it is improper, it is
not fitting."

"Oh, your Ladyship."

"Tell me rather what became of you. They had robbed you of your baby.
You told me that."

"And then, a few days later, somebody from Erfurt drove up to the
mayor's office and asked whether there was not a wet nurse there, and
the mayor said 'yes,' God bless him! So the strange gentleman took me
away with him and from that day I was better off. Even with the old
widow my life was tolerable, and finally I came to your Ladyship. That
was the best, the best of all." As she said this she stepped to the
sofa and kissed Effi's hand.

"Roswitha, you must not always be kissing my hand, I don't like it.
And do beware of Kruse. Otherwise you are a good and sensible
person--With a married man--it is never well."

"Ah, your Ladyship, God and his saints lead us wondrously, and the
bad fortune that befalls us has also its good side. If one is not made
better by it there is no help for him--Really, I like the men."

"You see, Roswitha, you see."

"But if the same feeling should come over me again--the affair with
Kruse, there is nothing in that--and I could not control myself, I
should run straight into the water. It was too terrible. Everything.
A